love

2008-12-02T19:11:00.001-08:00

so many upcoming events! =)
really looking forward to all of them!

oh my my favourite time of the year... CHRISTMAS!! =)

too lazy to type further....

2008-11-27T08:04:00.000-08:00

junbin brought me out for dinner after school. we went to vivocity's carls jr
nothing special with the food.
but its the company i have that matters most..
i had fun, simply being with junbin makes me smile.
i missed his hugs most after a week or two or not meeting.

yup my baby also bought a box of chocolate mints. i was so tempted to eat the chocs but junbin said i could only open it when my ulcers have healed. =( its going to take another three gruelling weeks for 5 ulcers to be completely healed. -_-

we got home early to chill and took pictures! its my first time camwhoring so much with my baby.

=)
here you go.

love the "wind" effect =P

i love my junbin boy! =)

peace

2008-11-27T08:00:00.001-08:00

how peacful it is to sit in a park.
early in the morning,
with no one around
just all by yourself
hearing the voices of nature
tingling in your ear

how peaceful would it be,
to sit alone on the beach
no one around to disturb me
starry nights are a bonus
to such a romantic peacful night

all i need is peace
inner peace..
outer peace
all the peace,
please give it to me.

negative

2008-11-25T07:51:00.001-08:00

i think you are boring
i think you are fake
i think you should get lost
oh for goodness sake!

dont try to be rough
cos you dont look tough.
you look more like a sissy.
lost out in the city.

i hate you
i wish you're never there
i wish you never cared bout me
cos i dont need you any where

stay away you poison needle.
you are nothing but deepest troubles.
no matter how i try to say
its never equal to the hate i had.

im glad ur totally out of my life.
im never needing you, not now and EVER.
im so happy to be free.
as free as how a bird can be.

dont pity me,
i dont need such
dont beg me either,
cos i wont hear much.

life has to go on
no matter what
grab your hat
and just get going!

i dont know why, but recently, ive been writing really nasty, negative poems. i guess its how im feeling right now, all cooped up and stuck emotionally, desperately hoping for someone to hear my pleas. but unfortunately, no one did. not even the closest one to me... what a letdown

=)

2008-11-15T08:39:00.000-08:00

today was a long day, but i sure had a lot fun.

morning was class which ended in the afternoon. the presentation of the script went pretty well. the hilarious part was, i actually popped a RICOLA candy into my mouth, not knowing that we were next, so throughout the whole presentation, i was shifting my sweet from side to side of my mouth.. thank goodness, no one said anything although i knew they saw. haha

in the evening, i went to pick up my "CHANEL" handbag. it was gorgeous. just love it!
then i went to find junbin at his place. he wasnt home yet so i had a little "chit chat" session with his mom. =)
my smiley baby reached home at 6:15pm! =D after a long gruelling week, i manage to see my baby. so happy!

we went to some dim sum place at bendemeer for dinner.. yum yum!
i ate so much for the first time in weeks! =D

on the way home, we were talking about fussy cab drivers etc... haha hilarious replies!

i had fun. =)

2008-11-14T07:17:00.001-08:00

school just started and i hadnt got the time to blog since.
oh well, it has definitely been a REALLY busy week.
haha im lucky for not finding a job at the childcare, it will all be too stressful for me.
yup, so much journals to write. and assignments and more ...
tomorrow, we are going to do a script. its about "feelings". we are portraying a childs day or something.. and the feelings inside.. bet its gonna be interesting! haha

alright im too tired.. tmrs gonna be another busy bee day! hah

toodles!

2008-11-11T19:29:00.001-08:00

im going for my photoshoot session at 12 30pm. its for some advertorial purpose. yeah. this is going to be so so exciting! (although its not my first time at it.) haha i just cant wait, to get it over and done with and see my face on posters and newsletters and brochures and newspapers etc. yeah i hope so.. =/ im not exactly sure what they are going to use the photos for but its definitely to promote the school.haha RTRC rocks! they have given so much opportunity ever since i came in last year. i am really grateful.with the guidance of the teachers and the way lessons are taught, which includes presentations, i am able to stay more focus during lessons and be confident when i speak. =) i feel more confident as a teacher now..
thank you again RTRC. =)

sadness

2008-11-10T18:40:00.000-08:00

"come with me to neverland
forget the sad days
that we ever had.
tinkerbell is there,
flying high up in the air.
oh wont it be nice to be like her?
swishing through the snow flakes,
and over the mega lakes.
so happy,
so carefree
about the world."
too bad im not interested.

all i want now is
everything to stay the same
never to change one single thing
or else i may feel a nasty pinch.
bruising my heart so painful it seems
now that all seems bleak,
i just hope without a leak,
that one fine day
wil be us in happy way.

2008-11-10T08:39:00.001-08:00

this is really ironic but its true.

"the person you love most, hurts you the most"

yup, i've been through it, and still recovering from it. im not sure if im being overly sensitive but things seem to be different after the incident. the friendster status becomes "single" and he totally removed the "my love" photo album. In addition, the "so in love with that ballet dancer" on his msn nick was deleted and never replaced despite obvious hints.
i dont care whether you think im just being paranoid or overly sensitive, the fact is that it was changed, deliberately. and he somehow doesnt want to replace it. if you were me, afer countless of obvious hints, and he gets it but pretends to be oblivious about it. wont you be hurt? the feeling is similar to that of a im not trying to difficult. those phrases may be just words to you, but to me, it brings joy and a sense of comfort to know that i have someone special. honestly i was really upset when i realized it had been changed... i never thought he would do such a thing.. never once...
so right now, when i visit these sites a sad expression would be pasted over my happy face. oh well.. this just hurts so much...

i wish he cared more than he think he did.

it got me upset,
and i wanted to take revenge
i wanted you to be in my shoes
to know how it all really feels.
but no i wont do that,
cos im not that bad.
in fact i wont do anything
whats the point?
you wont react,
it just seems
like you care, just less.

all the tears of every night
is enough to flood the rivers and ponds.
all the tears ive shed for you
why wont you understand what ive been through?
i am paranoid
i am weird
but everyone has their opinions you should hear
not turn away or give a deaf ear
this goes out to those who hurt,
hang in there
as comfort will appear.

2008-11-09T18:22:00.000-08:00

im slowly getting used to all these pain.
its no big deal.

2008-11-08T04:26:00.000-08:00

it was tough today.
having to overcome the shock and hurt from yesterday(im still not recovered) and the broken promises as well as the sense of loneliness.

i stayed at home the whole day, too ashamed of my swollen eyes to go anywhere although i wanted to get out for some fresh air. i really wonder, how come things i thought felt so right suddenly went all wrong? its really upsetting. im still hurting very much inside. for the whole day, ive been working hard, hoping to numb my pain by focusing on something else. i could not stop, because whenever i did, all of what happened flooded my brain and it was painful. i ended up bursting in sobs. someone pls take this pain away from me. ive suffered too much, its unbearable. im losing myself to depression.....

i want all this to be over... i sick and tired of being teary-eyed.

2008-11-07T20:35:00.000-08:00

i think we should sometimes take a break from our fast-paced lives and reflect on what have we been doing etc.
occasionally, things happened too fast without you realizing and its gone the next moment. when you know that its gone, its too late to want it back and no point crying over it. i hate that kinda feeling, seriously. it feels as if you are stuck in a situation where u are lost and u have nowhere u can go. worst still if you have no one you can count on.
thats my life for you.
i have no one. but im used to it
i need no one. you're free to go if you want. i dont see a point holding you back if you refuse. i hate forcing people, it makes me look bad.

Next, forgiveness.. have you never forgive someone who hurt you REALLY badly, so much so that you wanted to put him/her in your shoes first? well i have,and i also believe in karma. what goes around comes around.but i dont forgive, never will. and i wont forget, never did. cos i make sure you will get twice the pain i got.if you are on my "most hated" list, you will never get out of it. i make sure i thumb you down all your life. you will regret what you have done, and you will carry that guilt into your coffin.

i hate you

i thought

2008-11-07T09:08:00.000-08:00

i thought you believed in me,
i thought you understood me,
i thought we had it all,
never it seemed to watch it fall.

what ache my heart suffered,
the sudden blows and breaks that happened.

it hurts to see you go,
lost in a flash,
before i know.

how i wish i could turn back time.
then you will still be all mine.
we will make it work together.
avoiding screams and yells and scuffles.

oh i wish i could return,
i regret my actions,
but i guess it too late to U-turn.

there is one more thing which i must say,
and that is i'll never stop loving you,
even till this very day.

good bye my last love and only true love....

2008-11-05T21:35:00.000-08:00

yayy i was on The New Paper.
under the Career 2008 section.
the interview session was really tense atfirst but i felt much better as it seemed like a chatting session after all. i was glad it was over and that i did not say anything that would cause the reputation of RTRC to collapse( not like theres anything bad to say anyway.) RTRC is indeed a good learning place for most of us. peaceful enviroment etc. but im not sure if its still peaceful in the evenings when all the part timers come to class. a whole lot of them i tell you. literally every class is full, like 50 over ladies. RTRC is really popular. and im really glad i chose to go to RTRC instead of NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC! my friends in np are still struggling and some are even thinking of dropping out. ha thats because they were enlisted into a course which they had the least of interest. im glad i did not end up like them, having to be in np but doing something i dont like at all is pure torture. =)
i wonder if there will be anymore of such opportunities to shine for the school. mr tui as well as my family will be so proud to have a girlfriend/ daughter/ sister like me. =)

2008-11-05T21:27:00.000-08:00

haha no lesson today! (except for the one in the evening)
i feel so free! so free to study! just want to complete that assignment which is due when i return to school.
i cant wait for friday, then mr tui and i can watch movies and munch on yummy popcorns and sip on fizzy groovy grape juice! haha yeah its really gonna turn me so fat. havent been exercising since who knows when.. -_- i feel like a PIG, a cute one atleast. haha oh well, cant believe im going to stay at home and thats it...
why must baby's training be today!! why must i have my break today?! WHY!!! not fair.
i want things to get better! i will make them better! its all up to me! =D
ahh enough crapping and get back to work claire! (my attention has been diverting around other than on my work since morning. really frustrating!)

2008-10-20T08:15:00.000-07:00

ahh i just did my nails. =)
today was a long day, i had so much to do and so little time.
but, atleast i did make time to meet my baby. =)
today was our anniversary! hehe he bought me a tub of chunky monkeys from Ben and jerrys haha.. so happy!!! i love treats from junbin! they are always my favourite!
i collected my new dress too! gorgeous! =D so gonna wear them out with junbin. =)

ahh im too tired..
im gonna hit the sack now.
toodles!

monday blues? nah

2008-10-13T08:01:00.000-07:00

haha i woke up early today feeling really TIRED... not enough sleep last night because i was busy shopping online and talking to junbin. =P

today was just fine...yeah bought more clothes, transferred more... (so troublesome to transfer at the ATM, feel like slapping myself for discarding my ibanking particulars.-_-")
i think i spent close to $200+++ on clothes only..
if i include other accessories(bags etc..) it would be.. close to a thousand...
this means i overspent!!! oh my god, shopping always leads to overspending and overspending always lead to disaster! =/i better stop...STOP shopping CLAIRE!! (yeah hopefully.) asking a shopaholic to stop shopping? its like asking me to kill myself.

my burberry tote is arriving!! haha
so are the clothes i ordered!! so happy! =)

oh yes, junbin boy came to my place for dinner. and he was an idiot! he deliberately threw my precious pillow on the floor 5 times?! the floor is full of dust(duh~) and then the dust will be all over my pillowcase! HMPH!

and then we fought, haha it was fun.. that little boy just wont give in to me! but i wont give up! After much struggling from him, he finally waved the white flag! HA!
hes so cute =)

ahh too tired, thats all for now.. toodles!

mixture of feelings

2008-10-11T06:50:00.000-07:00

its SATURDAY! Nevertheless, a busy one. but mr tui and i still tried our best to make time for each other despite how tired we were. oh i love him to bits!=)
i went to Plaza Singapura to meet him at 6 30pm. i was early so i shopped around..
i popped into SASA and bought a nail glue, it is used to put fake nails. =)
then i walk and walk and nothing caught my eye. =(
i walked further and further and THERE! i saw TIMES bookstore. so relieved, to see a shop which sells books in a fashion mall. i spent like god knows how long at the store, browsing through different books on children with special needs and i couldnt make up my mind which to choose. after much decision making, i decided to get " boost your child's confidence" by Lucy Morgans and Steve Hemsley. =) this book contains approximately 52 brilliant drama techniques to help your child shine. =)
i read quite a bit of the book already and i feel that its rather useful to teachers, especially those working in childcares because we spend more time with the kids than their parents. so we tend to understand the child more and therefore this books provides various techniques to help a child gains his/her confidence.. if method 1 doesnt work, theres always another method and so on. most importantly, we shouldnt give up on the child. Theres a saying,"our future is in the childs hands, they will be the leaders of tomorrow." can you imagine what it would be like if majority of our kids become so emotionally affected by their childhood and their confidence is totally wrecked apart, the world will just collapse. =/ scary......

we should treat our kids better! BUT when theres a need to discipline, we must do so! =)

enough about kids, im going off track. anyway, we had dinner at Carls JR. managed to get a table amongst the hustle and bustle of the fast food restaurant.

after dinner, i needed to get shoes, so we went to charles and keith but i didnt like any. What a waste of time. then we took at escalator up to crocs and mr tui reminded me of some gay who used to view him repeatedly. that made my blood boil, just the word "GAYs" makes me wanna smash some faces and kick some butts. argh i REALLY DETEST and TOTALLY dont SUPPORT GAYS being OUT in the open!(would u like your child to see men kissing and caressing each other out in the open? well ive seen that.and these gays just dont care.) argh... why would a normal-built man wanna be gay? are they desperately looking for attention or sth? or are they too horny that the females are just not enough to satisfy their goreng pisangs? and i simply hate it when gays ogle at mr tui when im STANDING right beside him, i would show no mercy and STARE BACK with vicious eyes, waiting to take action if they go over the limit. DAMN YOU GAYS! you are disgusting! Atleast have some form of self control. if you wanna be gay, thats fine but dont go round displaying your affection(kissing) for each other in public. it is morally incorrect. argh.
anyway, there was nth interesting at crocs so we decided to head home, quite exhausted after a long day and im glad to be home safe and sound. =)

i shall not let the thought of gays spoil my day.

[whatever that is written in this blog has no intention of insulting any particular person. it is purely the opinion of the blogger and its HER blog. thanks]

2008-10-10T16:46:00.000-07:00

friday was the happiest day of the week.after waiting for so long, i finally got to meet mr tui! =)we were both so busy with our schedules for the past week. Mr tui met me at my place. then we went to westmall. had pasta for dinner and then we walked around for a bit. mr tui kept reminding me that its no good to sit down after meals blah blah blah.... but i dont sit... i LIE down! =) afte lunch is my nap time before i go work again. hahhahah =X
we visited quite a number of shops with i hadnt the time to go for a long time.
ahhh. just too tired to blog further..

Goods awaiting arrival.
1)burberry tote [ so EAGERLY waiting!]
2)Satin kimono cocktail dress [going to wear this to the ballet performance]
3)Another satin dress [felicia's wedding? maybe]
4)Blazer in black [so excited for this!]

i need to get:
1) more shoes
2) a decent watch(DKNY/CK etc)

i want to get:
1) the MAXI dress( but i dont wear it) [ waste money arh!]
2) Long champ tote(LARGE with long handle)[dion said it looks like raincoat/umbrella material] -_- well the colour that i want is out of stock.so i got more time to decide. =)

HAPPY DAY! happy happy everyday! =)

loves mr tui.

2008-10-07T11:15:00.000-07:00

i feel so happy, i just treat myself to another burberry bag! =)
i deserve it after all that hard work!
haha im feeling contented and pleased with myself. =)

work harder claire!!! =)

2008-10-04T07:43:00.000-07:00

at 1:46pm ,the door bell rang. There stood a man most probably in his 50s. not very tall, lean and dark as if he has worked under the sun all his life. his hair was covered in shades of grey turning to white. that man greet me with a smile and handed me my Burberry paperbag, the one and only item i have been waiting for the past 4 days. i was so excited and almost wanted to leapt into a margaritta but i kept my cool. i thanked him politely and calmly closed the door behind me.
grabbing my paperbag, i dashed to my room in excitement, my heart was thumping so hard that it felt as if it was gonna beat out of me. i carefully opened the paperbag and took out my longwaited(although it was just 4 days, it seemed like forever) burberry still bundled in a another bag. very slowly and steadily, i pulled the ribbons loose and opened the dust bag.
YAYYY!!!! i have finally got the bag i have always wanted and had it delivered to my doorstep. =) what a feeling i cant explain! thrilled by the moment which has just begun, i am sure that im going to have a lot of FUN! =D

the bag looked exactly similar to the one in the picture only that the bag has a bigger base in real life which doesnt matter at all!

i couldnt wait to carry my new bag and coincidentally had to chance to when mom and dad decided to drive to the airport for lunch. Everythings going well!!

At the airport,being in such high spirits, i gave mom and dad a treat at popeyes.
after lunch, we walked around and i shopped a little at candy empire where i bought some sweet treats for my brothers, my friend and myself. =) Secret Recipe was just across Candy Empire, so we decided to have some tea there. i ordered my favourite hot cappucinno and dad ordered latte. Mom had ice chocolate which was filled mostly with ICE rather than chocolate, as well as tiramisu, her favourite cake.
we all had fun chit chatting for the FIRST time in a long while. and i glad we didnt quarrel at all. haha =)

it was sure a tiring day, but atleast i enjoyed myself with my new bag.=)

i am so going to get a wallet to match my bag before november! =D
hmm, maybe i will get another bag too! haha
save money time!!!

nights!

graduating on 13th december'08
its a pity you cant come as i was hoping that you will be there.
i guess there is nothing i can do anyway so i'll just move on and roll back my tears when the day comes....

disappointed i am
but what choice do i have?
things didnt happened right
although i still wished they would have might.
nvm...

fcuk it

2008-10-03T09:32:00.000-07:00

so many things happened this week.
it was downright exhausting. running all over the place, being busy all the time and there was hardly any time for a breather!
and my great grandma passed away on thursday. i can vividly remember all the hustle and bustle my parents went through to locate her when she was moved to a home and no kind souls(what family huh.) would tell us. fucktards. it was a tremendous miracle when they finally found her staying in a home up in a hill,cut away from the outside world.
the home she was living was small but filled with many old folks, partially dilapitated, paints were peeling of the walls and fungi grew on them like there was no tomorrow. window grills were rusty and the tiles covered with black snow, revealing my footprints as i walked on them.
the home look so uninviting that i wanted to turn around and walk away, but i couldnt do that.
"lao ma" or so we called her, was sitting in the hall, playing games with the other old folks. after a year or two, she had grown so much older than i had expected. she was no longer plum and strong and she needed a wheelchair to move around. she lost so much weight that it made her look so haggard and worn out from life. i could see additional wrinkles on her face when she smiled........it broke my heart...
but atleast, i said to myself that she is happy and away from abuse from ungrateful violent step son. already past 50s i suppose and still hadnt got any clue about forgiveness. not as if lao ma did any wrong to him anyway(i think).

just before she died, she was in coma for 19 days. i guess those 19 days were "mental preparation" for lao ma on her own death. she died on dads birthday and also Saint Michael's Day. how memorable.
i dont think i will ever forget this day.

good bye.

i hate you

2008-09-30T17:53:00.000-07:00

you always break your promises
u never seem to keep them
you dont even care how much it hurts

you only treat me nice when i could treat you gifts.
when im down, u cast me aside, you ignore me no matter how hard i try to stand out.
19 years......ive been tolerating your mean remarks.
everyone wants to stay being a kid but i just cant wait to grow up and leave this wrecked home of yours for i know that i will be a like a bird who has been freed after many long years of being locked up in a cage.

im working now. im glad i have as i dont have to depend on your stinking money. and your rotting mouth telling me i owe you when i grow up.
bear this in mind that that when i have settled down and stabilised, i will pay you what i owe you and THATS IT.
dont expect me to keep my promise for anything else cos u did the same to me..
i hate you.. i always will.

cold cold world
im alone even though surrounded by many people
i trust no one.
not even you.

2008-09-27T16:20:00.000-07:00

yesterday was a extremely busy day for me, so much so that i hardly had time to text mr tui. i know i know , im such a bag girlfriend,unable to make time for my boy. =( but money and work are equally important. Moreover junbin is in camp, i rather do something then bored to death.
i woke up at 7 to go work. work work work and MORE work. work only ended at 7 30pm. =( but it was okay! cos it was PAY DAY! =D
i have ordered a burberry blue label bag and have got someone to arrange it to be shipped over from japan for me. =) i will most probably get my bag next week if everything goes smoothly. i am so excited!!! =D
hmm, however one bag is not quite enough. so im deciding to get more next month! =D maybe i will get Saleya GM from Louis Vuitton.
oh i am feeling so satisfied with myself. =) yay! i am finally getting independent! no more a little girl, although i still am to Mr tui. =)
oh the blouse and skirt Mr Tui bought for me have arrived! it was awesome! and i love it! i am going to save that outfit for next tues when we meet. =)
i wonder what are we gonna do next tuesday, watch movie? have dinner? Shopping? or window shopping? hmmm i wouldnt mind going to the movies or have dinner, but shopping would be quite selfish of me cos whenever i shop, Mr tui will tag behind me, not a complain of "boredom" although i can tell he is and it makes me feel very guilty so i would rather shop alone which i enjoy or shop with mom! =D

i havent gone to ballet for 2 weeks! oh i feel so lazy and FAT. >.<"
cant wait to return to ballet tonight. if only it was early in the morning or sth rather than NIGHT where people are usually chilling out at home getting ready to face monday blues the next day. -_- oh well.

todays going to be a boring day cos i dont exactly have plans. my only plans are work.. which there are none today. i think today will be the DAY where i will die of boredom! oh wait! i still have markings to do! i wont be that bored after all!

you are my one and only.

happy again!

2008-09-25T09:07:00.000-07:00

i was having a bad day atfirst. i was late for work, had a tummyache suddenly on the way to work and when i got home, i found my crab lying in the water, motionless. =( i thought it will live for a long time. oh well, i felt so guilty when i flushed it down the toilet bowl.. Well how else can i get rid of it besides returning it to the "water"?
well anyway, junbin said he couldnt meet me cos of dragonboat training. =( i was feeling worst. he promised to spend time with me afte FYP, but due to UNFORSEEN circumstances, we had to call off our date. damn. moreover i have cancelled my evening lesson just to spend time with him. =(

my luck "U"-turned when junbin called me up in the evening saying he was going to look for me at my place! "yayy! hes gonna get hell from me!" i thought to myself. but i was so overwhelmed by the thought that he was Coming to look for me that i forgot the about grudge i was bearing against him for not having spend much time with me. we spent the evening at my place, watching disney cartoons. =) it was fun and the hilarious cartoons never fail to liven up the climate in the room. =) i enjoyed myself thoroughly eventhough it was barely 2 hours. =) i made used of every minute and second to enjoy his company, snuggling beside him. =)
sometimes i wish such moments never end, but you know, everything has to come to an end. =( oh well. but im sure our relationship will stay strong to withstand all the storms just like the strong trees in Hundred Acre Wood, rooted firmly to the ground to withstand blizzards and scorchy dry seasons. =)

We will last my dear, i know we will. =)
The chapter has only just begun =) i love you, Mr tui (2nd junior)

2008-09-24T07:10:00.000-07:00

bought these chocolates today! yummy i love the design of the boxes. =)
YAYY! ive got my 2 floral printed skirts and hight waisted dress!! oh oh not forgetting my belt! =) finally.... the two days of waiting seemed like forever/. =(
im glad its with me now, all in one piece! haha singapore post never fails to let me smile. =)

today was rather busy. working and shopping during my spare time. i spent quite a lot at popular today. lol stacks of files, books etc.
ive recently bought a story book," a friend like henry." its about a boy with autism who refused to open his little bubble and communicate with the rest of the world.
i havent exactly started reading yet. =)

anyways, i forgot to add in ytds blog the chocs jb bought me. sweet! =)

and i just realized that it is not in my comp. but i did accept it from dion!!!
ahh stupid laptop, so screwed up. i wanna buy a new lappy already! hmph! >:(

yayy!

2008-09-23T08:10:00.000-07:00

today was fun! the children were in good mood and so was i! =)
then junbin gave me a pleasant surprise by popping at my doorstep.
how comforting to see him waiting at my door after a long days work. oh i love my baby junbin booboochacha! =)

he bought me two type of chocolate which contained alcohol. it was my first time and it taste great. i prefer the rhum to Jack Daniels though. =)

dion and mom tried it and they all love it!

then i was browsing through some clothes online, i saw a high waisted and a silver sleeveless blouse. i fell in love with it at first sight, or so.
anyways, junbin just said," get it lor." As usual i used my dole eyed expression on him with a really convincing smile across my face. and YES! he said he would buy it for me and he did! =) my bf just bought me clothes and chocolates! so happy! so many things in a day! haha

on top of it all, im still waiting for my other parcels to arrive, im so excited! yayy, what a happy day for me and junbin baby booboochacha!

its supposed to be a holiday but it doesnt seem like a holiday, however i still enjoyed myself. having my loved ones around to spend time with me. =)

2008-09-22T05:45:00.000-07:00

ahh
so many things happened these few days. lets start with friday =)

after work, junbin came to my place. i wanted him to proceed straight to my house and not wait for me at the busstop cos i wasnt sure which bus i was taking.
i told my baby that i was gonna take the bus that alights on the other side which is pretty far from the one he was waiting at. i didnt expect him to go a long way to find me =) so sweet!
i was delighted to see him at the bus stop when i got off the bus. we made our way to the carpark and met my parents there. we hopped onto the car and made our way to chong pang steamboat BBQ! it used to be a Marina South. but has since relocated to Turf city along bukit timah road.
i thought it was gonna be REALLY crowded cos it was a friday. Surprisingly, we were one of the first few customers. =) it was already 7pm. i guess the rest were late. haha

junbin and i took chucks of meat to cook. the meat was delicious! especially satay mutton! yum yum. it was a sumptous meal and junbin treat my brothers and i to ice cream! hehe my sweet baby.

then on saturday, i met junbin at his place after work. he just took his shower when i reached, nice smelling!

we chilled for a bit while waiting for his dad to return home so we could go out for dinner.
we went to a famous Pigs Organs soups stall along Bendemeer road. this BIG shop only sells pigs organs soup / tofu /pigs trotters and other homemade specialties. you can imagine how successful they have become simply by selling simple food. however, i beg to differ their "simple" homecook food with other places as the taste of their specialty pigs organ soup will make you do a perfect triple pirouette even if you dont have any dance background . heavenly.
the meal was so good that i couldnt help thinking about losing weight later while i enjoyed the food first.

after dinner, junbin's parents drove me home. =) i feel guilty for wasting their petrol though. =/

on Sunday, i woke up at 7 in the morning to get ready for church. i set my alarm clock at 6 am the night before becos i had to run some errands before i went to church. i had to rush my bath, breakfast, make up(still perfect!) and off i went to the market. i needed to go to the bank to transfer some money for the things ive purchased online and i was so worried that it will be filled with the blangadesh workers who would go to the ATM machine and would take forever to get their stuff done and then i would have to wait FOREVER, moreover i was running LATE or so i supposed. thankfully time was on my side, the booth was empty =) i got to enjoy the air-con as well as the peace in the surroundings( usually lotsa ppl will be queueing and there would be lotsa chattering of all different langauges, and it usually gets louder(voice levels gradually rises when more ppl are talking because they cant hear each other due to the background chatters of others. =/)
finally, got everything transferred and i reached home just in time as they were getting ready to leave the house. =)

sunday was a busy day. i had to work as well =(. poor me.

i was bored while teaching. >.<

2008-09-15T07:31:00.000-07:00

after so long, today was the FIRST monday where i experience monday BLUES. -_-
plus, i had a freaking headache which made working a torture, although teaching has always been my passion. =( the headache still hasnt gone down yet. i can still feel it throbbing in my head. Thumping so hard that it feels as if a particular blood vessel in my brain is gonna burst. eww...well, of cos the blood wont squirt out of my skull. i'll just suffer complications in my brain and slip into a coma which also means that i might be a vegetable for the rest of my life. =( CHOY! thats not gonna happen to me.. no way! ive got so many things to achieve! i wanna get married and start a family and i wanna be a successful multi tasker mummy! i wanna see my children grow up and be successful just like me in future. oh my, i think too far already. lol

Anyway, after the dreadful lesson with a student, i finally got time to break. i met mummy at westmall because dion needed to get a comb.

headed down to Wisma Atria. Mummy bought a pair of pumps for herself. and i was basically window shopping. nothing caught my attention.

then we went to the louis vuitton boutique. that was when i experienced a change in my mood, gloomy to bright and sparkly! haha i was so overwhelmed with the many bag designs! Trevi GM caught my eye.

Description
- Damier canvas, smooth leather trimmings and red microfiber lining
- Golden brass pieces
- Zippered closure
- Internal patch pocket and cell phone compartment
- Hand-held or carried on the shoulder
- Rounded leather handles
- Adjustable and removable leather strap
- Base studs for extra protection

it really suits my personality! ha!
its affordable too! Atleast to me. =) im gonna get it next mth or so.
haha cant wait!

mummy is getting hamstead MM, she doesnt like it too big. =)

im dreaming about it again.. ahh....

good night!

lantern festival

2008-09-14T08:12:00.000-07:00

Its lantern festival today!!!
any idea how this day came about? nah but i shall find out, sometime. =)

did nth much happened today. it was pretty much the only day where i can sleep through the morning which i did not unfortunately, due to my body clock which wakes up 7 30am every morning. i did nth except for staring at computer screen for hours, trying to make up my mind on which bag i should get. i spent the whole morning and afternoon staring at the designs of the bags, still unable to finalize my choice. argh so frustrating!
im not sure if i should get a gucci bag, LV damier saleyaGM / treviGM or the burberry blue label.

leen says burberry blue label should get from japan directly cos its cheaper. however im not sure if they are willing to get it for me. =/ so i shall not put too much hopes on that.
i have always loved the design of damier canvas trevi GM. its really unique to me, and its not too common compared to the monogram canvas neverfull bag.
saleya is a simple design where u can dump all your brolly, waterbottle etc. thats why the price of saleya is cheaper than trevi.
next is gucci, i like that design because it is big and convenient for me to chuck my stuff in my bag when im in a hurry.

im confused!
maybe i should take a little more time deciding. =)

we went to church in the evening then proceeded to dinner near my place. i had pigs organ soup. it was pathetic. hardly any intestine and so much soup. the standard of the soup has dropped tremendously compared to the past. oh well. food back in the old days taste much better because tht was the only skill they had and jobs were not as available back then unlike today. i wish i could travel back in time and enjoy all the mouth watering delicacies, then return to my own time when im done with it. haha

yayy!!

2008-09-07T09:11:00.002-07:00

today was really busy, well only from the start of the afternoon actually.
i skipped breakfast today. pizza early in the morning.... ewww. the oily and partially burnt dough covered with dried up mozzarella cheese made me lose my appetite all the way until lunch time and i only managed to munch on some digestive biscuits which werent that yummy today, i wonder why. Maybe my tastebuds have gone haywire today.

anyway, in the afternoon i helped this little boy make his lantern. the instructions on the stupid paper were so unclear. it was just a black and white piece of paper,however the instructions given mentioned about blue and yellow markings of the outline of the lantern. -_-' i had to crack my brains and solve the missing instructions myself, although it was that boy's work. he just sat beside me and started doing his usual "talking to himself". it was frustrating trying to cut out the vanguard sheet to form a design,but the outcome was rewarding and i was proud it although it was not totally finished yet.
i pasted some cellophane paper on to the design to make it look more like a lantern. it was so pretty that the little boy could stop trying to amuse himself with other things and admire the lantern. he said, "wah teacher, is that lantern mine? so nice! hurry up do okay?" -_-" ungrateful brat, but i dont hold it against him cos sometimes he doesnt know how to express or relate to others, resulting in him accidentally offending people, especially teachers in school. poor kiddo.
Anyway, the lantern was done in less than 3 hours! =D i was so proud of it and so was he! he was really happy with the lantern and thanked me sincerely( you can tell if someone is meaning it or faking it right.) i was so touched. Atleast he appreciated what i have done and my efforts were not wasted. i felt so satisfied. =)

in the evening we went to church. After church was BALLET! its been so long since i took a break from ballet in the beginning of the year. i was so excited yet paranoid. what if im unable to do double pirouettes like before? what if they say i put on weight(i havent been exercising eversince i stopped ballet)
thankfully everything went well in ballet class.it was quite relaxing. Ms Elaine taught us a bit of pilates to help us strengthen our muscles. the lesson passed really quickly. Although the lesson was 1.5 hr, it felt like only 0.5 hr have passed. haha it has been a long time since i last enjoyed my ballet lessons. =)
im feeling happy now!

yayy!!

2008-09-07T09:11:00.001-07:00

oops

2008-09-06T21:26:00.000-07:00

I'm in the library now and wondering if I'm meeting junbin at np. I'm not sure if I will
be able to make it though :/ cos church is at 5pm! I usually go to the 9am mass on Sundays. But today is different, too tired to explain the whole thing. Okay I think I'm gonna be late for teaching! Cya!

2008-09-05T22:04:00.000-07:00

its been forever since i last blogged.

i was busy with work and work and more work for the past few months, hence was unable to find time for my blog.

the past few months were really crazy. All my work schedules, attachments, classes came at one go..
it was tiring, especially the attachment! having to start work at 7 30 am every morning. what a killer. The practicum supervision as well as the video presentation was nerve wrecking. i had so much to remember, and the worst part was bits of the information in memory kept slipping away. therefore i tend to be scrambling all over place most of the time.

finally i have graduated! i have only 1 month or 2 left before i start with my degree..
oh i cant wait!!! and soon i will graduate from my degree and move on to a masters or sth. =D oh i cant wait to grow up!! oh yes im daydreaming right now.. =)

okay thats enough of dreaming. lets talk about yesterday. As usual, i went teaching although its not as stressful because its the holidays and families are overseas. yayy! so happy that ive got time for my little boy. =)

i went home at 4pm and junbin came to my place for dinner at 6 30pm when he promised to reach at 5 30 or earlier. but it was a small matter. =)
we had fried rice for dinner and junbin ate most of my share because i didnt have much appetite then. i only managed to force myself a few spoonfuls of rice and that was it for dinner.
after dinner, we chat a bit and did some brain cracking crossword puzzles. junbin kept irritating me from the side and i had a huge difficulty in concentrating.-_-
we stopped solving the puzzles as it was hard to concentrate with the tickles we were giving each other.
we both chatted for a while more and before i knew it, junbin was snoring. -_-
that little boy always knocks out halfway! but i cant blame him, hes had a long tiring week, all the trainings and school. poor baby.
well poor me too! i have to wait for another 3 more weeks before we can finally go out as he is busy with his final year project. =/ oh well im counting down and the day seems to be taking forever to come. i think i shall not think about it and get busy with other things. =) i hope that will help!

oh oh mooncake festival is almost here! i cant wait to celebrate, carrying lanterns and enjoying the delicious mouth watering snowskin durian mooncakes from Goodwood Park and sipping Oolong tea. yummy! my tummy is already rumbling at the thought of it. hopefully my baby will be able to celebrate it with me. =)

stupid day

2008-06-27T10:34:00.000-07:00

today was a horrible day to begin with.
in the morning, the bus i was on broke down.
i waited 15 mins which took like forever under the scorching sun, threatening to hurt my skin and damage its tone,just for the next bus. when i got on the bus, it was already almost full despite the fact that it was only the start of the bus's journey. i managed to get a seat right at the back of the bus. i thought i was lucky at first, but soon i realized that no one wanted that seat because it was too bumpy! -_- therefore, my journey to school was a long and bumpy one. =/
throughout the journey i was feeling pretty dizzy and nauseous(thanks to the bumpy rides). my head felt light and my mind seemed to be all over the place. i simply could not stay focus on any thing. my both hands began to feel numb and i was having cold sweat. My heart tightened and i was having difficulty breathing. i was literally gasping for air in the packed-like-can-sardine bus. i knew something was wrong but i didnt know what to do! the bus was so crowded, i couldnt stand up from my bumpy seat(not like i had the energy to anyway.). all i did was bent over and closed my eyes for awhile. it did made me feel better.

after i got off the bus, i was feeling really worried. unsure about when such attacks will happen again. =/
i really hate to take buses especially when they are crowded.or any enclosed place..it freaks me out. i dont know why, but it just does.

After school, i went home by bus again( not as if i have a choice). i was lucky the bus wasnt crowded at all.

After,resting at home for a while, off i went to work! travelling from one place to another. i only ended work at 9 30pm. unfortunately for today, i had to come home myself =(
ahhh im too exhausted physically and mentally to write further. hopefully tomorrow will be a MUCH better day! =)

2008-04-08T01:58:00.000-07:00

im currently sitting in the library, waiting to teach another student. =)
i just had my attachment at the childcare and it was REALLY EXHAUSTING. these kids just have mood swings every now and then. -_- and the worst thing about it is that these mood swings are unpredictable.. -_- poor teachers like us have to be prepared to improvise for what comes next.

i just realized that i havent blogged for a REALLY long time. well its becos i have not enough time, work, school, and MORE assignments.. they seem to be never ending.. just as youre trying very hard to complete one.. the next module comes in no time..which meant more assignemnts to be completed.. im lucky to be able to take it, plus, ive got my little junbin to cheer me on! haha.

last friday was junbin's birthday. for the past two months, ive been brainstorming on how to give junbin the most memorable birthday ever.. there i came to a decision of inviting his friends over to celebrate with us! haha i was quite reluctant of my idea at first cos i thought that i wont get to spend quality time with him...but its okay. cos i know that his friends are just as important as me! all i wanted was for him to be happy anyways! =)

2008-03-01T07:25:00.000-08:00

i hate you.

i hate you for who you are.

i wish we never met.

you brought more pain then i could ever think of.

you gave me sleepless nights

you made my life miserable.

you make me wanna starve and kill myself.

you are a pain.

a thorn in ones flesh

you bring nothing but trouble and sadenss

you are a jinx.

no one likes jinx, and that include you.

you bring bad luck to everyone.

you make people suffer.

you are disgusting..

i hate claire......

2008-02-10T18:32:00.000-08:00

im in bangkok now!!! and its my last day here! =D quite glad though
because for the past few days, it really wasnt easy. i had to get used to the local lifestyle, no cars no transport. basically walking. =(

the best part here is the shopping. the food is not too bad. =)
i bought loads of things for myself and junbin, got hairul a singlet. =)

im going back to singapore in a few hours. =D
i cant wait for that, but at the same time, im quite reluctant for that. well thats becos,the moment i return, the REAL work starts and it kinda sucks, no more enjoyment and all. i dont want enjoyment to end so quickly =(

oh well, i miss junbin more than anything else!!! so i think its more worth it to go back than stay a little longer. =)

2008-01-26T02:43:00.000-08:00

INSECURITY,
its all about me,
its either i change it,
or just let it be,
then all will be affected
because of what i did,
that made you all wanna quit.
im sorry,but
its hard,
i hope you know.
to change into someone so perfect.
lets face the facts,
its for the best,
in order to save the rest
of my life.
i gotta thrive in giving all i have.
im sure i can
i know i can
i wont give up,
so dont give up on me.
all you gotta do is
wait to see the change in me.

its really hard to control my emotions and not freak out at times. i hate this feeling. i would usually ask myself, why am so unlucky to be caught in this kinda shit. insecurities,mood swings... =(
i would cry myself to sleep at times, wondering if all this will ever go away.
im scared, i really am.
im afraid to lose the people who cared for me..
im afraid to lose jun bin, cos i know everyone has limits and hes been doing his best at reassuring me. i cant help crying about it sometimes, even thinking about it makes me feel guilty and my "sorries" never end.
i hate this feeling.
i hate it all.
its so hard to step out of it now.

and its even harder not giving up.
however, im not gonna quit.
im still gonna persevere, gradually.

wish me luck that i'll complete my toughest obstacle.

bye.

2008-01-20T07:56:00.001-08:00

FINALLY! 6 MONTHS together already!=D

i was so glad that all the misunderstandings have been settled and all the bottled problems have been poured out.
i feel SO RELIEVED!

i must say that there were quite a few ups and downs for us, but nevertheless we remained strong and overcomed each and every obstacle that came in our way. =)

i must admit that i am quite insecure emotionally and im PROUD to have a boyfriend who is patient and gives me his assurance every now and then. =)

i am thankful to god for letting me meet such a wonderful person.=)
i thank god for my happiness.
i thank god for everything in my life. =)

2008-01-18T23:27:00.000-08:00

i was flipping through SEVENTEEN's january edition and i came upon this page on horoscopes. this is what it says about CAPRICORNs, which is ME. =D

the capricorn girl is : Motivated, strong-minded,and materialistic.
capricorn's SPECIAL trait : you want to "get on" in the world.
your little secret: you need emotional security.

out of 7 columns, only these 3 made sense to me.
this shows that horoscopes are not always as ACCURATE and EFFECTIVE. therefore, we shouldnt evolve our daily lives around horoscopes from magazines or another other sources.

have you ever read a particular horoscope from a few different magazines of the same month?
they all write different things huh?

maybe its because these people get their horoscopes from different sources and thats why they are so different from each other.

i feel that horoscopes are man-made beliefs catered to people who are relatively insecure about many things in life. i wont say that they are all a pack of bullshit, but i would advice to simply read such articles but not take the contents so seriously as afterall, they are man-made.

2008-01-18T08:15:00.000-08:00

today has been a pretty rough day and it doesnt seem to be over yet.

1) took back most of my results and i was quite pleased with one of the modules as our efforts as a group,excluding one girl paid off. however, im quite pissed to see that the girl who hardly contributed to the project got the same grade as us. dont you think its unfair? bitch.

ahh....

im too upset to explain further about my day, its terrible.
i just hope that everything will be alright tomorrow. =/

and you promised not to make me cry another river...

my birthday

2008-01-13T03:19:00.001-08:00

yesterday, i woke up feeling stony as dion woke me up SO EARLY in the morning.. -_-
since i was still early for tuition, i slacked around for abit.
then junbin called me to wish me happy birthday =D
he still did not tell me if he was going to meet me after his training, so i thought maybe he'll be too tired to go out after training or sth. i decided to drop the "meeting up" thingy.

my breakfast was a pleasant one, i was greeted with my favourite roti prata at the dining table. yum yum!

then dad fetched me to tuition.
they said that they might pick me up slightly later so i decided to visit joey after my lesson. =D

when i got there, all the children,except joey were sleepin soundly. joey was in the midst of getting scolded by the teacher for not sleeping. lol that little boy. =)
to cheer him up, i gave him a packet of prawn crackers.
he took the packet and said," thank you tee-cha care." in his babyish voice.. so adorable. it just melted my heart instantly! =D

dad arrived soon after and i hopped onto the car and headed home to sleep longer.

no plans, no outings. "what a boring birthday it is" , i thought to myself.
i was feeling quite disappointed, having to waste a special day which only comes by once a year by simply staying at home to sleep. =(
oh well, since it was a special day to me i didnt allow my emotions to overrun me. i managed to stay positive after all. =D

in the evening, we wanted to head down to marina south for the BBQ steamboat thingy.
when we got there, it was literally a ghost town. the whole place was empty and deserted. everything was removed from that place. =(
that means no more steamboat on my birthday. ='(
mom and dad suggested going to Sizzlers at Suntec. we all agreed, although my heart still felt heavy from the fact that my favorite bbq steamboat at marina south will only exist in my memories. =(

on my way to suntec,i suddenly had a feeling and a sudden urge to msg junbin. i borrowed dions phone as i have forgotten to bring mine.-_-

junbin called, on dions phone ofcos and told me that he was gonna be at suntec too. the group of them were thinking of having subway for dinner. haha
how coincidental! =D
not being able to have bbq steamboat at marina south was a blessing after all as i was able to meet junbin. =D

we decided to meet after our dinner.
the food at sizzlers was good. =)
i had lamb chop! loved it.

Finally,the moment to meet my little boy whom i have missed so much (although we have already met the day before) has come! lol haha sounds so drama, but i was really excited and looking forward to meeting him!

after we met up, we went along with his friends for coffee.
hairul, kok keong and justin are really funny people. =D
although i didnt speak much, i was very much entertained by their interesting conversations. =D

my bithday was quite fun after all! =)

my birthday

2008-01-13T03:19:00.000-08:00

2007-12-25T07:28:00.000-08:00

Christmas eve was a blast! =D

i wasn't able to slp the night before, but was could wake up at 7 am to distribute candy canes to friends!! hahahah well , the reason why i wake up so early is because, i take approximately 2 hours to get myself dressed. oh wells girls will be girls! =

it was 9 am, and i predicted that zander might still be asleep. i decided to give him a wake up call! =D quite mean of me to wake him from his "beauty sleep" actually, but i didn't have a choice as i didn't want to be late for the rest of my activities. Met up with zander and i was QUITE late.. -_- so paiseh.
i still managed to give him his stuff. =)

Next, i made way to the mrt, on my way to jurong east interchange to pass my friend some candies. while i was on the escalator reaching the second level of the mrt station, my hand phone vibrated and it was her message saying she was unable to meet at the interchange and wondered if i could meet her at her house bus stop. i felt such a idiot going up the escalator, walking one round and go back down again.. -_-" but it was okay, since i was in a good mood. =)
i made my way to the cck interchange. finally the bus came after 10-15 minutes.
after i was done distributing the candies, i had to rush to meet jun bin at hougang as i was supposed to meet him at 12pm and it was already 11 30am at that time, clearly impossible to reach hougang from jurong in less than 30 minutes!
still,i did my best to reach hougang as soon as possible! i couldn't wait to see my darling boy after so many days. although they are JUST DAYS, it seems like YEARS if you really miss the person and eager to meet him/ her. my eagerness to meet junbin never fails, which is also why i am so prone to getting love sick.

after meeting jun bin, we headed to bugis to get some light sticks and sparklers for Christmas. i spent a total of 12bucks. It was worth it as i could share it with my family and we could all have fun together. =)

when we got to my house, i thought i could take a break but mom and dad dragged us out to help them carry the Christmas items they were going to collect. i didn't get to carry much as i had jun bin to help me out. haha! I'm so fortunate!

we waited for all to be present at home before celebrating christmas. it was really fun, not because there was a wide spread of food but it was because of the company i had while celebrating christmas. =)

we attended the midnight mass at st joseph church. my mom being kiasu, insisted that we reach church at 10 30 so that we would be able to find seats in church. -_-
after more than an hour of service, we could finally return home to celebrate.
i was too tired to eat any more, i decided to have a bottle of barcadi peach.

when we were opening our presents, i was so scared to find out what my parents bought for me. to my surprise, it was the guess bag i longed for! =D i was so happy that i became speechless and all i could say was "thanks mom and dad!" lol
i was pretty much high throughout. haha

time for bed! i pulled out my drawer and took out a white plastic bag containing CHOYAs! junbin treated me to the honey-flavoured one while i bought the normal one for him. however, it didnt exactly seem like i bought the choya for him as i drank his after i finished mine.
i dont exactly know what happened next as i had a little too much alchohol and was rather drunk.(atleast i got drunk at home.)
i only remembered junbin patting me to sleep. haha! =)

what a wonderful christmas eve. =)

thanks honey! it was mostly you who made my christmas eve a memorable one. =)

2007-12-23T04:25:00.001-08:00

IM SUPERBLY EXCITED!! tomorrows christmas eve!!! hahha i love christmas eve..

to me, christmas eve brings out the "romantic , magical and peaceful" atmosphere..families from busy scedules coming together to have dinner,lots of laughter filled in the air, couples sipping wine by the balcony, simply enjoying each others company..awww.... =)
i used to wish all this would happen to me during christmas eve.

im so glad its all happening.. =)
my darling little boy is coming over to celebrate christmas, and we are attending the midnight mass together with my family.
when we return home from church, we shall sip wine together and enjoy the whole feeling. =)

i cant wait for it..haha

baby have a little faith in me... =)

i will hold you up, when you like your gonna fall...

just have a little faith in me..

will you? =)

2007-12-21T08:26:00.000-08:00

so much happened today, shall just summarize it cos im really exhausted after editting my blog layout.

firstly, i woke up unhappy cos junbin knocked out on me last night again..=( oh wells, i guess i cant blame him totally cos he gymmed a lot yesterday.
then i was even upset when he spoke to me in that manner and i slammed the phone back..
however, mom overheard(cos she was sitting beside me) and gave me a good long lecture.. -_-
not feeling very happy but also guilty at the same time, i decided to call junbin to apologise..
i was pretend for THAT tone of his though.
then my heart softened when i heard he quarrelled with his mom. =(

i also sent him a msg to cheer him up..
but, he sent me a reply to shoo me away.. =(
i was shocked and very upset when i saw the msg.

throughout the day, i was really gloomy although a part of me still worried for junbin. =/ despite him being so mean in the msg.

For countless times, i had the urge to send him a msg or two to cheer him up or apologise but i thought to myself that maybe it was better not to send since he wanted to be alone.

i tried to forget about the whole incident by helping mom to iron all the clothes...
but it didnt quite take my mind off the whole matter, as the whole matter kept coming back into my mind like a colony of ants invading a nest. -_-

around 4pm, he msged me..
at that time,i was thinking,"how could he hurt me so much and yet still able move on so quickly."
i was furious.
so i didnt reply his msg until 7pm as i was way too worried about him.

after many calls and smses...he finally called back to say that he was sleeping all along..(make me worry for nothing -_-)

we apologise and made up, its all fine now..
=)
im glad it is, cos the whole day of not contacting him was living hell.. =(

junbin if you're reading this, i just wanna tell you how much i love you. and i will not this happen again... but still, no matter what problems you have, i really hope that you will share it with me like how i did with you. =)

oh i so cant wait for christmas eve!!! =D

2007-12-03T23:32:00.000-08:00

i rush to the childcare from school just to pass them the props for the performance.. -_- thank goodness i had mom to help me carry the props if not i would be totally drained out.

i met mom at CCK, and we proceeded. at that time, i was thinking about getting my FULL PAY, FINALLY.
however, when i got there, the person-in-charge said, "Claire! can you find your last last months cheque or not? if really cannot find then i have to call up the Accounts sector already."
like she said, my pay has been DRAGGED for TWO MONTHS. and that sentence of hers has been repeated for countless of times for the past two months. -_-"
i doubt she even called to bug the people in the first place. this is another example of the centre's inefficiency. the moment i heard that sentence from her, my mind was almost bursting with ideas on how to get back at her. Still, i dont believe in revenge, but retribution, where everything takes place naturally without having the victim to plot anything.
my mom was there at the scene too and she had overheard the entire conversation about my cheque, i could tell that her heart was on the verge bursting with anger as the expression on her face revealed everything. she went into the playgroup class while i had to polish the k1 and k2 boys' umbrella dance. i felt that the dance was alright,going by their developmental stages. i have no idea why some teachers make big fusses over not turning the right way, not doing exactly how they want the children to do etc... i think its ridiculous. seriously, every child is not the same, some are more developed in some areas, therefore they dance better or adapt to changes faster. we, as teachers have to be fair in these area as it is impossible, at this age, to make sure every child dance the exact same step at the same time. its already a bonus if these children don't get restless after a while.

when we got home, she asked for the contact number of the person-in -charge. i didn't expect her to call though... but she did. =)
she told the person that it was too much and that as teenagers, we also need money to spend.
as usual, the person cooked up another excuse, just adding a bit more ingredients to the excuse. that person also asked if i wanted cash or cheque. of course i would prefer it in CASH.. -_-"
she also said that she would give it to me on Wednesday. she better keep to her word.

upset

2007-12-01T11:42:00.000-08:00

i have been keeping these problems inside me and im about to explode. More over these problems have made me unhappy for quite a bit so ive decided to rant it all on my blog.

Problem no.1
Ballet is my favourite hobby and i love dancing.
however, due to certain circumstances, i am only able to go for one lesson whereas everyone else gets to go for two.
Stacey asked me a few days back if i wanted to take the ADVANCE 1 ballet examination cos' everyone in my class was taking it. If i want to take my majors, i have to attend classes thrice a week without fail. i hesitated for a while and thought to myself that there will be many sacrifices that i have to make if i were to participate in the training. The sacrifices will be, my job as a preschool teacher, my job as a tutor and spending quality time with junbin/ family. All this sacrifices really mean a lot to me and i cant simply let go any one of them. however, i really want to take my majors and move on to take the teacher's grade but all these not only need a lot of time, a lot of money is required as well. Learning Ballet isnt cheap, mind you. Therefore the problem is still hanging in mid-air.

Problem no.2
i lost my cheque for october and the childcare took so long to respond to the matter. Meaning they took a LONG time to cancel my cheque and inform the accounts sector to give me another cheque. They took SO LONG that it was already the end of NOVEMBER which also means that i'll get two cheques.
However, i have yet to get any of my cheques and it is DECEMBER. Seriously, i am really broke.
If i didnt have my mom to help me out, i'd be gone by now, too thin to be seen or blown away by the wind. Honestly, whoever that is reading this entry, dont you think this particular childcare has really poor management? It is not only INEFFICIENT but IRRESPONSIBLE as well!
They cancelled my cheque and promised to give me a new one in a few days time which turned out to be almost a MONTH. And now that i shld rightfully have two of my salaries, they jollywell dragged it. Not only mine, but other teachers' as well. For goodness's sake, we are HUMAN TEACHERS, not ROBOTS. We have to survive on food and some have to take care of the family's expenses. Moreover preschool teachers are not really well paid, therefore it is almost impossible for teachers to bring forward the remainings of last months pay to cover the daily expenses while all the cheques are being held back for "who- knows- what -reason".
In addition to their irresponsibility, i tried ringing the person in-charge to ask about my cheque but he/she simply wont pick up the phone. what is this? Playing hide and seek with me? I guess they dont know who the REAL CLAIRE is for i HATE to be messed around with and whoever guilty of that will get twice of what they did to me. i will not hesitate to bring this matter up to MCYS / MOM if it gets too far. This childcare isnt worth the money and time anyway. i honestly pity the children who got placed in this childcare, becos everything is always so BUDGET. The childcare is forever on a budget which means most of the basic stationery necessities are always lacking/ not purchased. Therefore poor teachers who already have such low pays have to fork out a sum of money to buy the materials in order to conduct the lesson.
In your opinion, if you were in my position, how would you feel if you are only paid peanuts and yet you gotta pay the stationeries yourself for the sake of making sure the children do not lag in learning.
i am downright disgusted by the overall management of this childcare. They have focused too much on "attracting customers" which led to a negligence in caring for the teachers. why am i not surprised when i see teachers quitting after working for only less than month. i'll be the next teacher who leaves the moment i get my salary.

All this problems caused me to have mood swings which in turn affected Junbin as well..

honey im really sorry for all the things that i have unconsciously done which had hurt you deeply.
im truly sorry for it... :(
i am so full of remorse that i cant sleep a wink. :( i am really exhausted...

*i know that it is tough at times when we have misunderstandings. Nevertheless, we managed to overcome them which only made us stronger.
Will you continue to walk this path with me and overcome the challenges together? Although it is a long way, but if we persevere, i am sure we will succeed.
i really hope you will join me in this journey.......
i love you, junbin! (^.^)

2007-12-01T09:02:00.000-08:00

Nobody likes to lose their inner voice.
The one I used to hear before my life,made a choice.
But I think nobody knows.

It's win or lose not how you play the game.
And the road to darkness has a way.
Of always knowing my name.
But I think nobody knows.

And i'll tell myself...
"Tomorrow I'll be there my friend.
I'll wake up and start all over again. When everybody else is gone, i'll count on me to be happy again."

no one knows.....
nobody ever will.....

goodbye bad day, i have cried a river which will probably sink all my troubles.

Thats when a new day begins....

*numb your pain with work. it is the most safest yet effective solution. =)

2007-11-01T10:08:00.000-07:00

finally! im updating my blog.
i only decided to update it becos i cudnt slp and had nth else to do.

oh wells, it was a pretty down day for me.. at WORK only. damn.
it wasnt like that at all in the past.however, when the new supervisor came,everything seemed so messed up,confusing and simply annoying! no wonder i get mood swings so frequently these days.
there were so many unnecessary changes,from the time tables to the hygiene practices and even the FOOD has to be taken care of by her. -_-i didnt want to care much about it atfirst and just go with the flow, but somehow her attitude simply puts me off.
she was barely with us for a week or two and yet the way she acted around was as if shes been in this place for a very long time and she knows EVERYTHING about the centre, from handling the kids whom she barely know of, to the minor problems with the damn heater in the toilet which gets mood swings every now and then.
im being realistic as to overlook her "i -know -the -whole -world's- problems" sort of attitude cos i know no ones perfect and maybe its her STYLE(bossing around) of interacting with the people around. i seriously dont care.
however, the final straw came when she demanded that i stayed on for a bloody meeting which was the next day.if she informed me earlier i would have attended, but it was too last minute and i had already made plans. it wont be fair for me to sacrifice my other activities which i have planned way before time. so i told her right in the face that it was rushing and i had already made other plans. she gave a look and said, "but i told you some time ago." i immediately shot back at her saying, "you only told me yesterday." she paused, speechless and pissed off.

the next day, my colleague told me what happened during the meeting. i wasnt exactly surprised to hear that the petty cow was backstabbing me, and most of the time was basically talking about me. fuck. how childish can she get?! seriously.
shes bloody married already, mind you.

while the children were practising their dance steps for the concert, she called me into the office and gave me a good long lecture, adding a few drops of insult along the way.
i didnt exactly remember what she said cos all i heard was mostly, "blahblahblahblahblah, i want to see this done in this way...blahblahblahblahblah."
not that i was trying to be rude but i was thinking, if she was unable to handle the N2 kids, what right does she have to remark about how i handle the K1and2s? im taking care of 2 classes.. hello?! whos more stressed out here?! the kids listen to me when i speak, what bloody class management is she talking about? she knows it herself that the k1s and 2s are a very noisy lot, therefore i have no choice but to raise my voice so that all could hear me. do you think i wanna shout/scream my lungs out and then fall terribly ill? i must be insane if i wished for that!

ever since she joined us, shes been acting like the evil stepmother in cinderella, making our lives so difficult. she is so getting on my nerves already.
if it gets over the limit, dont blame me for turning nasty cos im capable of that. your bossy acts and venomous remarks brings you no where. MOST of us know what kind of person u are already, it wont be long for the superiors to get the information as well.
you better watch your back, cos you wont know when trouble comes knocking on ur front door.

*never offend anyone, esp if you hardly know them on the inside ,cos you never know what some people are capable of doing.

2007-07-27T18:14:00.000-07:00

it has certainly been quite a long while since ive last blogged.
been really busy with school and work and ballet and shopping! =)

im a workaholic..but previously, i worked my guts out just to numb myself from the emotional injuryi sustained from some shit incident. im glad its all over and ive moved on..really far ahead already.
and im not turning back. NEVER will i EVER do that.

*you werent worth it after all

still, that was all in the past..
doing pretty well at present, im contented with all that i have. =)really am..
and i thank god for making my life so wonderful. ^.^

2007-05-19T08:43:00.000-07:00

i really have not much time to blog eversince school started...
which is also a good thing, cos usually i dont have much to write about, apart from my boring day...lol

=)

moving on....and on...and on...... =)

2007-05-13T08:38:00.000-07:00

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY TO MOMMY!!! ^.^

thanks for indirectly buying the GUESS bag for me to use for school, although dad paid it.
well THANKS DAD! =D

yayy! now i have a NEW bag for school! so happy! ^.^

happy day for me!
cant wait for school....!^.^

divorce

2007-05-12T22:02:00.000-07:00

when i was younger, i used to hear all kinds of stories that led to divorces and the aftermath of it. however, being young and carefree, i did not think much of it cos i thought that it only happened to unlucky people. divorces were also pretty rare to me cos i didnt have any friend whom i know had parents who were separated ...

as i grew older, i began to make new friends and quite a few of them came from such situations. some of which are still in the midst of separation though..-_-...
then i realized that divorces dont exactly happen to "unlucky" people, moreover it is getting rather common these days.

although these children with separated parents seemed like any other normal kid on the outside, full of smiles and laughters, but deep down inside, they are struggling to recover from the emotional hurt not caused by themselves, but by their self-centered parents.

at the early stages of separation, the child will tend to have mood swings (eg,cry really easily or get irritated very fast.)
they will also keep to themselves cos they feel that since they cant exactly talk to their parents, who are the closest to them, theres no way they can share their problems to other people such as, counsellors.
bottling up all the problems will lead to coping an overpowering amount of stress,i mean how can a child possibly cope with that?! Even an adult cant manage with that much amount of stress.
that explains why it is so common for kids to suffer from depression these days.

however if the child receives proper counselling from professionals, the emotional outcome will not be so terrible.
still, the hurt will remain. just like a scar in the heart which can NEVER fade away.

heres a story of someone i know and how her parents helped her cope with such stress,
when lin* found out about her parent's divorce, she was devastated. she felt as if the world was gonna be over in no time.
she would cry to herself whenever she was alone, and would have frequent nightmares when she slept.
she felt that it was all her fault for her parents' divorce.
she became withdrawn.
fortunately, her parents realized something was amiss,after much thought, they sat her down and explained the situation briefly.
lin cried buckets at first but was glad that her parents told her the truth, so she need not have to feel so bad about herself.

months passed, and lin was better but still not as good. well thats becos, her parents simply have no time for her. they were so busy in earning more money that theyve forgotten all about spending more time with lin. so instead of spending more time, they spent more money..giving her everything she wanted that money could buy.
lin then turned from a sweet and kind girl, to a arrogant and materialistic person who thinks shes superior than others only becos she got whatever she wants and they dont.
although she had all the materials stuff she wanted , she lacked something very important, which was the REAL love from parents, through quality time spent, not money.

in my point of view, i feel that what her parents had done was right to a certain extent. they discussed the whole situation with her in the hope of not making her feel so bad. they also did a right thing in observing lin's behaviour, cos as you all know, not ALL parents give a damn about how their child feels.
however, the grave mistake her parents made was to not spend enough time with her so as to get rid of the "communication barrier" and reach out to her needs.
all they did was simply showering her with material needs, and this indirectly taught her the wrong values. such "actions" taught her that money can buy happiness(can, but not for long), and that in this world, nothing is more important than money. "family", "love" and "care" were simply chucked away by her. this resulted her to be materialistic, thinking that money is everything.

sometimes, i feel that parents, divorced or not divorced, busy or not busy, should still spend TIME with their children..
again, i stress that MONEY and material goods are NOT what the child longs for.to them, its only a secondary option.
whats MOST IMPORTANT is the LOVE and CARE from parents.....

when youths screwed themselves up(eg, getting into trouble with the law.), it is not exactly because they were being silly, foolish or simply stupid on purpose.
it is because such youths dont exactly have proper family upbringing as most of such youths came from broken families, whatever situation it may be.
you all may think that schools teach such values as well, i agree.
but the values taught at schools are just reinforcements on the values taught from home.....by parents.
cos i know that no matter what, children will listen to their parents. (unless their parents are screw ups themselves, then its a diff issue.)
i mean, would you rather listen to your parents whom you trust MOST or, a stranger apart from the fact that he/ she is your teacher.

think about it. =)

*names are changed to protect persons identity.

2007-05-11T19:34:00.000-07:00

i was suppose to read up on divorces, but i simply didnt have the time!!
as you all know, tomorrow is mothers' day and my mom wants to celebrate early...-_-"
or rather, she wants to celebrate today and tomorrow!
haha..

will write about "divorces" and how it affects a child. =) soon/

2007-05-11T07:19:00.000-07:00

this entry is not about my day or your day or anybody elses' day, its about KIDS and how to handle them! =)

heres some information about the way asians and westerners deal with their children.

asians : - dont believe in discussion, (etc "no talk means no talk, i say you do it!")
- believe that the "cane" is a miracle tool to make the child well behaved again..LOL!
- dont believe in second chances. (etc, once a child makes a mistake, whether is it a terrible one or not, he or she is likely to get whacked... )
-"saving face" is very important..so parents tend to make sure their kids are "perfect" so as not to be disgraced by them.

however, westerners think likewise.

westerners : - do not believe in physical punishment. ( its known as child abuse in the country. =/)
- always believe that talking it out with the child is the best solution.
- there are always second chances. these kids are less likely to be punished compared to asians although both made the same mistake.

personally, i like the way how western parents bring up their child,eg, ("no beating, talking things out and giving second chances.")
well thats because, using physical punishment isnt always very effective. all children react differently to punishments, some might think its just a cane and forget about it, while others will bear grudges which might lead to a lot of unhappiness in the family.
its good to reason out with the child about the rights and wrongs, dos and donts. atleast the child learns it without getting angry or bearing any grudge, and he/she is also more likely to remember it.
still, i feel that the "chances" given to the child should be controlled or else he/ she will take it for granted. for exmaple, after his/ her second chance, the child still doesnt listen, a harsher consequence should be imposed, (eg, grounded from doing the things he/ she likes.)
this will be a HUGE "wake up call" for the child to start changing or else there will be other terrible consequences , (eg,"loss of freedom to go out with friends.")

as for the way asians bring up their children,i must say that its rather effective when it comes to dealing with stubborn children. but somehow i feel tt theres a lack of communication between the parent and the child and its basically just punishing and punishing, making sure he/ she dont make the same mistake again. the child will then start to bear grudges and, worst still , some of such children became more rebellious. =/
"saving face" is not EVERYTHNG. whats more important is caring about how the child feels.
your "FACE" is NOTHING compared to your own flesh and blood. can you imagine seeing your son/daughter committing suicide and its all becos of "saving face" , you neglected his/ her feelings? just an act of selfishness can lead you to a lifetime of regret...
it is really no worth it all..

parents should understand their children more..
spend more time with them!
just increase the amount of time you usually spend with them and they'll be very happy.
these children dont exactly want anything else, but the love and care from their parents.

i was once a child too. =)

sorry

2007-05-07T21:15:00.000-07:00

whats most important now.

1) god
2)family..i dont wanna regret not spending enough time with them.
3) losing weight until i reach my goal.
4)spend more time with my best friends especially tings. i dont wanna regret not spending enough time with her...
5) my work....

the rest dont matter now...
dont think they ever will...

sometimes we should all just reflect on ourselves..and think about how much we've hurt others and yet some simply refuse to leave us in the lurch..
ive thought about it..and the people who will stand by me in times of trouble are not my friends but, my family.
my parents especially..
i just cant understand why i was so mean.
im gonna make things right now.
im sorry for all that ive done to hurt you.
truly sorry.

i wont make you worry anymore....
yup.

2007-04-27T06:11:00.000-07:00

today was fun...i guess? kids were like little monsters as usual....CUTE little monsters to be precise..
they look so innocent, but are SO NOT! *faints*
whenever i wanna punish them, they will, for sure give me that stupid innocent face....hoping i'll give them a lighter sentence....-_- NO SUCH THING! hahahahahahah! *i feel evil*
cute or not, still have to get scolded by me...the biggest monster! hahaa
"i feel VERY evil"

okay enough of tt evil thing....lol

i was in a happy mood today so i didnt really scold the naughty ones...
i gave all of them sweets and marshmallows some more k! =D

i just love to see them smiling! so sweet!! =D
today was really easy, no need to sing songs , just PLAY! =D
i drew a flower for jiayi, my favourite little girl and gave her a yellow "winnie the pooh" water bottle as well...=) shes really pretty! haha =)

i guess i'll miss the cute monsters! =(
however, i cant wait to get back to studying...=)

throughout the day i just kept thinking of someone.
oh well, i cant help it..=/
as the end of the day drew closer, i was so eager to get home.
however, some sickening mother was 10-15minutes late to pick up her son...ARGH...
its not like she rushed from work cos she was wearing home clothes and she looked totally sloppy...
-_-
guess what her excuse for being late was...
"oh sorry ah! outside heavy rain thats why late. aiyo the rain very heavy ar! "
it wasnt raining at all at that time, mind you.
i mean, want to lie also dont know...wah lau
even i, who totally suck at lying can lie better than her! MUCH better i mean...-_-
ahh heck la...typical parents....

and the day ends here....=)

im not anorexic!

2007-04-25T06:46:00.000-07:00

ive been getting stupid comments like, "omg claire! you're so skinny now!!! you are anorexic! "
, "aiyo you so skinny! been starving huh?' or "claire arh! you work too hard already larh! stop starving! you look so pale/haggard/dull/ETC." or "claire, DONT LIE! i know ur anorexic! SAY!!"
[-____-"]...for the LAST TIME, im NOT ANOREXIC!!!!!!!, i think..=/

anyway, im just on a diet, how i lose has nothing to do with you ALL.
so please, let me be...

"anorexic/bulimic" are not nice words to be randomly thrown at others..
its pretty hurtful you know...=(

*"you are special to me"
are these words too much to take?
pls dont avoid it
cos' that hurts a ton or two.

time will tell yeah? hope it will. =/

it all dont matter anymore......

exceptional

2007-04-24T19:13:00.000-07:00

You're beautiful but you don't know. Can't see what's there inside your soul. Always feelin like you're not good enough. You wish you could be someone else. Sometimes you just can't see yourself. But I can see just who you are, who you are....

You never you think you measure up. Never smart or cool, or pretty enough. Always feeling different from all the rest. You feel so out of place, you think you don't fit in. I think you're perfect in the skin you're in. You're just perfect just how you are, just how you are.

If you could see the one I see when I see you. You'd know how lucky you are to be you. I see through into you, and you are exceptional....

You're exceptional the way you are. Don't need to change for nobody. You're incredible, anyone can see that. When will you believe that?
You are nothing but exceptional.....

i choose not to believe.

=(

2007-04-24T05:39:00.000-07:00

its been eons since ive lost weight.
you didnt say anything about me losing weight the last time, however you even criticised me whenever i had supper...
well i have to thank you for that..
its because of YOU and your freaking hurtful comments that made me so determined to show how much weight i can lose and my plan is actually EFFECTIVE, not USELESS....

regretting what you said before?
all i can say is, forget it...
i didnt lose weight for you anyway...
i lost weight for myself..to look good..or even BETTER.

i dont care about anything else now..
say what you want..
cry buckets...
and i just wont care anymore...

ive been treated like that anyway....

even if i were to die, atleast i know that i died being slim...which was what i always wanted....

so, no regrets for me anymore...

seriously, save ur tears.......
no point quarrelling with me over my weight if ur not gonna talk nicely...you dont own the world you know..
you should know that when i set my heart and mind into doing something, i'll do it all the way until i get the result.

oh wells, its just a little too late now....and i aint gonna change for you

2007-04-23T06:15:00.000-07:00

no mood to blog....

=(

feels as if..things have changed..

good bye the "old FAT claire"! >.<

well they certainly have.

lalalalala =D

2007-04-15T03:48:00.000-07:00

9am, i woke up soon after i knocked my head against the study table beside..LOL ouch! =(
my day didnt went quite well throughout the day.
i quarrelled with dion over a stupid comp..=/ well i thought he had to finish his homework and moreover he woke up earlier than me just to play games! -_-
was just helping mummy to remind him to study..but i got fired back instead. HMPH!!! i was so angry!
not only that, mom went to throw away ALL my water bottles...omg..then what i use for ballet!? wth...hmphh.
went for ballet after that...
ballet was neutral...got a bit of scolding =(

after ballet,
i msged gerald to tell him how screwed up my day was. ='( so wanted to cry too!
well gerald obviously tried his best to cheer me up
he replied with something which was totally lame and didnt make sense at all..haha aiya
its gerald man, cant do anything about it, can you? haha =P
but he did cheer me up after all..i felt much better after that. haha yeah
thanks sotong no.2!!! haha we are linked! thats why we understand each other in sotong language. right kor kor? =P

oh i forgot! today gerald so nice! never suan me...LOL
suaning me is like your daily dosage of vitamin. you must be feeling very weak today. oops
you can suan me later..just give me more space to suan you back! =P

alright! thats all for now...blog later!

p.s. : i love EATING sotong! dont you? =)

hmm....=/

2007-04-14T09:35:00.000-07:00

today was the busiest day EVER!

woke up at around 9 am
i got dressed and went out wth parents to first, pay for the yakult. second, buy paper plates etc. third, go fetch dion to tuition! lol

it was a REALLY BUSY day.
hardly any break...

[im too tired to blog about everything, will just summarise it]

the party was okay =/
lil'bro and i didnt know anyone and therefore we only had each other or our handphones for company. [thank you so much gerald! for keeping me company! was really so bored that i could kick a cow. =P..oops]

felt so weird with so many guys and so little girls. OBVIOUSLY i only talked to the GIRLS..well not all, just some from poly.=) they're really nice ppl..and omg, they can cook....-_- although their only 19 years old..damn..i feel like a boy...i cant cook well, dont really do housework, and that explains why my room is forever in a mess. =S
i should have been a bung.LOL .like which guy would want a girl like ME?! =/
oh wells i can always LEARN! =D which i doubt i will. haha.
ahhhh!!!
so exhausted after the BBQ =( gonna sleep now! tata! =D

=D

2007-04-11T06:02:00.000-07:00

work was a bit boring and frustrating cos the playgroup and nursery 1 kids are SO HYPERACTIVE!!! -_-

SO TIRED AFTER WORK!!!!!!!

so glad im finally home.talking to gerald..more like hes busy SUAN-ing me....lol..
but fret not! he will leave some space for me to suan him back..so nice hor?

stupid gerald! next time give me more space to suan you la! not enough u know!

haha
i love ALL MY friends!

WHEE!!!!!

2007-04-10T08:20:00.000-07:00

my date with tings and liz was really fun!
after so long, we finally met up and update each other on stuff, well its more like they update me cause im as if a tortoise living high up in the mountains, everything oso dont know and dont bother to find out too..haha, so usually i'll simply get all the updates on "kaypo" news from them..haha =P
anyway, we went to toastbox first. it wasnt crowded (11 am) =), we spent quite a lot of time talking as we munched on our toasts and sipped our coffee or tea(i know its rude to talk during meals, but we cant help it! not seeing each other for so long is enough to drive us crazy.talking less would be worst).it was really fun. after so long, tings and liz still havent changed a bit which is good news..=) i like the way they are..funny people who always cheer me up.=D
we were so engrossed in chatting, we didnt notice tt we were actually running out of time as we had other things to do ahead of us. liz wanted to get her green apple bubble tea from taka, we headed to taka after brunch.

at taka, we realized tt there was nth interesting to look at so i suggested to go raffles city's guess to change my handbag which has slight defects. =)

the people at guess seemed so unfriendly.even when walking into the shop, i could feel a sense of hostility, figures in white scrutinising my dressing as i took every step forward. still, i had to have my bag changed by hook or by crook .
finally! i changed my bag although they didnt look very pleasant(as usual) when i asked for a change...but who cares! its my bag thats more important! lol

the time for me to go to work was nearing, so we decided to sit at burger king to continue the chat.
well, all we had on our table was ting's pathetic regular ice lemon tea and we sat there for nearly an hour. its natural for people to give us weird looks...lol so MALU!! haha

then it was time for me to go =( hate saying goodbyes but had no choice if i wanna keep my job..
as i went off, i kept thinking of the present tings gave me..how thoughtful was she. moreover my birthday was long over and she still kept it together with the card, waiting for the day to pass it to me....how sweet. thanks so much tings! ur the bestest bestie! we'll never lost contact with each other and thats promise between us! =)

cant wait to go out with u all again! =D

=))

2007-04-09T05:50:00.000-07:00

finally im starting afresh!
lifes great so far..
really happy..

not only do i have freedom, i also felt as if there was a huge load of worry of my mind..
i could shop like crazy without worrying about spending too much...=D
for the past week, i bought clothes from MANGO,bugis.etc and wallet from GUESS..
shoes as well!
and just today. i bought a handbag from GUESS! i didnt even have to think twice.haha!
i feel so FREE!!!!!

I LOVE MY LIFE AND NO ONE IS GONNA CHANGE THAT! NO ONE AT ALL!!

I LOVE GOD TOO!
thank you lord for guiding me through! praise the lord!!!