Saturday, January 26, 2008
@2:43 AM
INSECURITY,
its all about me,
its either i change it,
or just let it be,
then all will be affected
because of what i did,
that made you all wanna quit.
im sorry,but
its hard,
i hope you know.
to change into someone so perfect.
lets face the facts,
its for the best,
in order to save the rest
of my life.
i gotta thrive in giving all i have.
im sure i can
i know i can
i wont give up,
so dont give up on me.
all you gotta do is
wait to see the change in me.
its really hard to control my emotions and not freak out at times. i hate this feeling. i would usually ask myself, why am so unlucky to be caught in this kinda shit. insecurities,mood swings... =(
i would cry myself to sleep at times, wondering if all this will ever go away.
im scared, i really am.
im afraid to lose the people who cared for me..
im afraid to lose jun bin, cos i know everyone has limits and hes been doing his best at reassuring me. i cant help crying about it sometimes, even thinking about it makes me feel guilty and my "sorries" never end.
i hate this feeling.
i hate it all.
its so hard to step out of it now.
and its even harder not giving up.
however, im not gonna quit.
im still gonna persevere, gradually.
wish me luck that i'll complete my toughest obstacle.
bye.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
@7:56 AM
FINALLY! 6 MONTHS together already!=D
i was so glad that all the misunderstandings have been settled and all the bottled problems have been poured out.
i feel SO RELIEVED!
i must say that there were quite a few ups and downs for us, but nevertheless we remained strong and overcomed each and every obstacle that came in our way. =)
i must admit that i am quite insecure emotionally and im PROUD to have a boyfriend who is patient and gives me his assurance every now and then. =)
i am thankful to god for letting me meet such a wonderful person.=)
i thank god for my happiness.
i thank god for everything in my life. =)
Friday, January 18, 2008
@11:27 PM
i was flipping through SEVENTEEN's january edition and i came upon this page on horoscopes. this is what it says about CAPRICORNs, which is ME. =D
the capricorn girl is : Motivated, strong-minded,and materialistic.
capricorn's SPECIAL trait : you want to "get on" in the world.
your little secret: you need emotional security.
out of 7 columns, only these 3 made sense to me.
this shows that horoscopes are not always as ACCURATE and EFFECTIVE. therefore, we shouldnt evolve our daily lives around horoscopes from magazines or another other sources.
have you ever read a particular horoscope from a few different magazines of the same month?
they all write different things huh?
maybe its because these people get their horoscopes from different sources and thats why they are so different from each other.
i feel that horoscopes are man-made beliefs catered to people who are relatively insecure about many things in life. i wont say that they are all a pack of bullshit, but i would advice to simply read such articles but not take the contents so seriously as afterall, they are man-made.
Labels: s
@8:15 AM
today has been a pretty rough day and it doesnt seem to be over yet.
1) took back most of my results and i was quite pleased with one of the modules as our efforts as a group,excluding one girl paid off. however, im quite pissed to see that the girl who hardly contributed to the project got the same grade as us. dont you think its unfair? bitch.
ahh....
im too upset to explain further about my day, its terrible.
i just hope that everything will be alright tomorrow. =/
and you promised not to make me cry another river...
Sunday, January 13, 2008
@3:19 AM
yesterday, i woke up feeling stony as dion woke me up SO EARLY in the morning.. -_-
since i was still early for tuition, i slacked around for abit.
then junbin called me to wish me happy birthday =D
he still did not tell me if he was going to meet me after his training, so i thought maybe he'll be too tired to go out after training or sth. i decided to drop the "meeting up" thingy.
my breakfast was a pleasant one, i was greeted with my favourite roti prata at the dining table. yum yum!
then dad fetched me to tuition.
they said that they might pick me up slightly later so i decided to visit joey after my lesson. =D
when i got there, all the children,except joey were sleepin soundly. joey was in the midst of getting scolded by the teacher for not sleeping. lol that little boy. =)
to cheer him up, i gave him a packet of prawn crackers.
he took the packet and said," thank you tee-cha care." in his babyish voice.. so adorable. it just melted my heart instantly! =D
dad arrived soon after and i hopped onto the car and headed home to sleep longer.
no plans, no outings. "what a boring birthday it is" , i thought to myself.
i was feeling quite disappointed, having to waste a special day which only comes by once a year by simply staying at home to sleep. =(
oh well, since it was a special day to me i didnt allow my emotions to overrun me. i managed to stay positive after all. =D
in the evening, we wanted to head down to marina south for the BBQ steamboat thingy.
when we got there, it was literally a ghost town. the whole place was empty and deserted. everything was removed from that place. =(
that means no more steamboat on my birthday. ='(
mom and dad suggested going to Sizzlers at Suntec. we all agreed, although my heart still felt heavy from the fact that my favorite bbq steamboat at marina south will only exist in my memories. =(
on my way to suntec,i suddenly had a feeling and a sudden urge to msg junbin. i borrowed dions phone as i have forgotten to bring mine.-_-
junbin called, on dions phone ofcos and told me that he was gonna be at suntec too. the group of them were thinking of having subway for dinner. haha
how coincidental! =D
not being able to have bbq steamboat at marina south was a blessing after all as i was able to meet junbin. =D
we decided to meet after our dinner.
the food at sizzlers was good. =)
i had lamb chop! loved it.
Finally,the moment to meet my little boy whom i have missed so much (although we have already met the day before) has come! lol haha sounds so drama, but i was really excited and looking forward to meeting him!
after we met up, we went along with his friends for coffee.
hairul, kok keong and justin are really funny people. =D
although i didnt speak much, i was very much entertained by their interesting conversations. =D
my bithday was quite fun after all! =)
