Christmas eve was a blast! =D

i wasn't able to slp the night before, but was could wake up at 7 am to distribute candy canes to friends!! hahahah well , the reason why i wake up so early is because, i take approximately 2 hours to get myself dressed. oh wells girls will be girls! =

it was 9 am, and i predicted that zander might still be asleep. i decided to give him a wake up call! =D quite mean of me to wake him from his "beauty sleep" actually, but i didn't have a choice as i didn't want to be late for the rest of my activities. Met up with zander and i was QUITE late.. -_- so paiseh.
i still managed to give him his stuff. =)

Next, i made way to the mrt, on my way to jurong east interchange to pass my friend some candies. while i was on the escalator reaching the second level of the mrt station, my hand phone vibrated and it was her message saying she was unable to meet at the interchange and wondered if i could meet her at her house bus stop. i felt such a idiot going up the escalator, walking one round and go back down again.. -_-" but it was okay, since i was in a good mood. =)
i made my way to the cck interchange. finally the bus came after 10-15 minutes.
after i was done distributing the candies, i had to rush to meet jun bin at hougang as i was supposed to meet him at 12pm and it was already 11 30am at that time, clearly impossible to reach hougang from jurong in less than 30 minutes!
still,i did my best to reach hougang as soon as possible! i couldn't wait to see my darling boy after so many days. although they are JUST DAYS, it seems like YEARS if you really miss the person and eager to meet him/ her. my eagerness to meet junbin never fails, which is also why i am so prone to getting love sick.

after meeting jun bin, we headed to bugis to get some light sticks and sparklers for Christmas. i spent a total of 12bucks. It was worth it as i could share it with my family and we could all have fun together. =)

when we got to my house, i thought i could take a break but mom and dad dragged us out to help them carry the Christmas items they were going to collect. i didn't get to carry much as i had jun bin to help me out. haha! I'm so fortunate!


we waited for all to be present at home before celebrating christmas. it was really fun, not because there was a wide spread of food but it was because of the company i had while celebrating christmas. =)

we attended the midnight mass at st joseph church. my mom being kiasu, insisted that we reach church at 10 30 so that we would be able to find seats in church. -_-
after more than an hour of service, we could finally return home to celebrate.
i was too tired to eat any more, i decided to have a bottle of barcadi peach.

when we were opening our presents, i was so scared to find out what my parents bought for me. to my surprise, it was the guess bag i longed for! =D i was so happy that i became speechless and all i could say was "thanks mom and dad!" lol
i was pretty much high throughout. haha

time for bed! i pulled out my drawer and took out a white plastic bag containing CHOYAs! junbin treated me to the honey-flavoured one while i bought the normal one for him. however, it didnt exactly seem like i bought the choya for him as i drank his after i finished mine.
i dont exactly know what happened next as i had a little too much alchohol and was rather drunk.(atleast i got drunk at home.)
i only remembered junbin patting me to sleep. haha! =)


what a wonderful christmas eve. =)

thanks honey! it was mostly you who made my christmas eve a memorable one. =)

IM SUPERBLY EXCITED!! tomorrows christmas eve!!! hahha i love christmas eve..

to me, christmas eve brings out the "romantic , magical and peaceful" atmosphere..families from busy scedules coming together to have dinner,lots of laughter filled in the air, couples sipping wine by the balcony, simply enjoying each others company..awww.... =)
i used to wish all this would happen to me during christmas eve.

im so glad its all happening.. =)
my darling little boy is coming over to celebrate christmas, and we are attending the midnight mass together with my family.
when we return home from church, we shall sip wine together and enjoy the whole feeling. =)

i cant wait for it..haha





baby have a little faith in me... =)

i will hold you up, when you like your gonna fall...

just have a little faith in me..

will you? =)

so much happened today, shall just summarize it cos im really exhausted after editting my blog layout.

firstly, i woke up unhappy cos junbin knocked out on me last night again..=( oh wells, i guess i cant blame him totally cos he gymmed a lot yesterday.
then i was even upset when he spoke to me in that manner and i slammed the phone back..
however, mom overheard(cos she was sitting beside me) and gave me a good long lecture.. -_-
not feeling very happy but also guilty at the same time, i decided to call junbin to apologise..
i was pretend for THAT tone of his though.
then my heart softened when i heard he quarrelled with his mom. =(

i also sent him a msg to cheer him up..
but, he sent me a reply to shoo me away.. =(
i was shocked and very upset when i saw the msg.


throughout the day, i was really gloomy although a part of me still worried for junbin. =/ despite him being so mean in the msg.

For countless times, i had the urge to send him a msg or two to cheer him up or apologise but i thought to myself that maybe it was better not to send since he wanted to be alone.

i tried to forget about the whole incident by helping mom to iron all the clothes...
but it didnt quite take my mind off the whole matter, as the whole matter kept coming back into my mind like a colony of ants invading a nest. -_-

around 4pm, he msged me..
at that time,i was thinking,"how could he hurt me so much and yet still able move on so quickly."
i was furious.
so i didnt reply his msg until 7pm as i was way too worried about him.

after many calls and smses...he finally called back to say that he was sleeping all along..(make me worry for nothing -_-)

we apologise and made up, its all fine now..
=)
im glad it is, cos the whole day of not contacting him was living hell.. =(


junbin if you're reading this, i just wanna tell you how much i love you. and i will not this happen again... but still, no matter what problems you have, i really hope that you will share it with me like how i did with you. =)



oh i so cant wait for christmas eve!!! =D

i rush to the childcare from school just to pass them the props for the performance.. -_- thank goodness i had mom to help me carry the props if not i would be totally drained out.

i met mom at CCK, and we proceeded. at that time, i was thinking about getting my FULL PAY, FINALLY.
however, when i got there, the person-in-charge said, "Claire! can you find your last last months cheque or not? if really cannot find then i have to call up the Accounts sector already."
like she said, my pay has been DRAGGED for TWO MONTHS. and that sentence of hers has been repeated for countless of times for the past two months. -_-"
i doubt she even called to bug the people in the first place. this is another example of the centre's inefficiency. the moment i heard that sentence from her, my mind was almost bursting with ideas on how to get back at her. Still, i dont believe in revenge, but retribution, where everything takes place naturally without having the victim to plot anything.
my mom was there at the scene too and she had overheard the entire conversation about my cheque, i could tell that her heart was on the verge bursting with anger as the expression on her face revealed everything. she went into the playgroup class while i had to polish the k1 and k2 boys' umbrella dance. i felt that the dance was alright,going by their developmental stages. i have no idea why some teachers make big fusses over not turning the right way, not doing exactly how they want the children to do etc... i think its ridiculous. seriously, every child is not the same, some are more developed in some areas, therefore they dance better or adapt to changes faster. we, as teachers have to be fair in these area as it is impossible, at this age, to make sure every child dance the exact same step at the same time. its already a bonus if these children don't get restless after a while.

when we got home, she asked for the contact number of the person-in -charge. i didn't expect her to call though... but she did. =)
she told the person that it was too much and that as teenagers, we also need money to spend.
as usual, the person cooked up another excuse, just adding a bit more ingredients to the excuse. that person also asked if i wanted cash or cheque. of course i would prefer it in CASH.. -_-"
she also said that she would give it to me on Wednesday. she better keep to her word.

i have been keeping these problems inside me and im about to explode. More over these problems have made me unhappy for quite a bit so ive decided to rant it all on my blog.

Problem no.1
Ballet is my favourite hobby and i love dancing.
however, due to certain circumstances, i am only able to go for one lesson whereas everyone else gets to go for two.
Stacey asked me a few days back if i wanted to take the ADVANCE 1 ballet examination cos' everyone in my class was taking it. If i want to take my majors, i have to attend classes thrice a week without fail. i hesitated for a while and thought to myself that there will be many sacrifices that i have to make if i were to participate in the training. The sacrifices will be, my job as a preschool teacher, my job as a tutor and spending quality time with junbin/ family. All this sacrifices really mean a lot to me and i cant simply let go any one of them. however, i really want to take my majors and move on to take the teacher's grade but all these not only need a lot of time, a lot of money is required as well. Learning Ballet isnt cheap, mind you. Therefore the problem is still hanging in mid-air.

Problem no.2
i lost my cheque for october and the childcare took so long to respond to the matter. Meaning they took a LONG time to cancel my cheque and inform the accounts sector to give me another cheque. They took SO LONG that it was already the end of NOVEMBER which also means that i'll get two cheques.
However, i have yet to get any of my cheques and it is DECEMBER. Seriously, i am really broke.
If i didnt have my mom to help me out, i'd be gone by now, too thin to be seen or blown away by the wind. Honestly, whoever that is reading this entry, dont you think this particular childcare has really poor management? It is not only INEFFICIENT but IRRESPONSIBLE as well!
They cancelled my cheque and promised to give me a new one in a few days time which turned out to be almost a MONTH. And now that i shld rightfully have two of my salaries, they jollywell dragged it. Not only mine, but other teachers' as well. For goodness's sake, we are HUMAN TEACHERS, not ROBOTS. We have to survive on food and some have to take care of the family's expenses. Moreover preschool teachers are not really well paid, therefore it is almost impossible for teachers to bring forward the remainings of last months pay to cover the daily expenses while all the cheques are being held back for "who- knows- what -reason".
In addition to their irresponsibility, i tried ringing the person in-charge to ask about my cheque but he/she simply wont pick up the phone. what is this? Playing hide and seek with me? I guess they dont know who the REAL CLAIRE is for i HATE to be messed around with and whoever guilty of that will get twice of what they did to me. i will not hesitate to bring this matter up to MCYS / MOM if it gets too far. This childcare isnt worth the money and time anyway. i honestly pity the children who got placed in this childcare, becos everything is always so BUDGET. The childcare is forever on a budget which means most of the basic stationery necessities are always lacking/ not purchased. Therefore poor teachers who already have such low pays have to fork out a sum of money to buy the materials in order to conduct the lesson.
In your opinion, if you were in my position, how would you feel if you are only paid peanuts and yet you gotta pay the stationeries yourself for the sake of making sure the children do not lag in learning.
i am downright disgusted by the overall management of this childcare. They have focused too much on "attracting customers" which led to a negligence in caring for the teachers. why am i not surprised when i see teachers quitting after working for only less than month. i'll be the next teacher who leaves the moment i get my salary.










All this problems caused me to have mood swings which in turn affected Junbin as well..

honey im really sorry for all the things that i have unconsciously done which had hurt you deeply.
im truly sorry for it... :(
i am so full of remorse that i cant sleep a wink. :( i am really exhausted...


*i know that it is tough at times when we have misunderstandings. Nevertheless, we managed to overcome them which only made us stronger.
Will you continue to walk this path with me and overcome the challenges together? Although it is a long way, but if we persevere, i am sure we will succeed.
i really hope you will join me in this journey.......
i love you, junbin! (^.^)

Nobody likes to lose their inner voice.
The one I used to hear before my life,made a choice.
But I think nobody knows.

It's win or lose not how you play the game.
And the road to darkness has a way.
Of always knowing my name.
But I think nobody knows.

And i'll tell myself...
"Tomorrow I'll be there my friend.
I'll wake up and start all over again. When everybody else is gone, i'll count on me to be happy again."


no one knows.....
nobody ever will.....




goodbye bad day, i have cried a river which will probably sink all my troubles.





Thats when a new day begins....


















*numb your pain with work. it is the most safest yet effective solution. =)

LIL'BIG sister CLAIRE the hobbit.. >.<"

psalm 27:4

BIG LIL'brother
BIGGER BIG'brother
lizzieWONG
anonymous
GOD
FAMILY
YOU
MYSELF
BALLET

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