Friday, May 11, 2007
@7:19 AM
this entry is not about my day or your day or anybody elses' day, its about KIDS and how to handle them! =)
heres some information about the way asians and westerners deal with their children.
asians : - dont believe in discussion, (etc "no talk means no talk, i say you do it!")
- believe that the "cane" is a miracle tool to make the child well behaved again..LOL!
- dont believe in second chances. (etc, once a child makes a mistake, whether is it a terrible one or not, he or she is likely to get whacked... )
-"saving face" is very important..so parents tend to make sure their kids are "perfect" so as not to be disgraced by them.
however, westerners think likewise.
westerners : - do not believe in physical punishment. ( its known as child abuse in the country. =/)
- always believe that talking it out with the child is the best solution.
- there are always second chances. these kids are less likely to be punished compared to asians although both made the same mistake.
personally, i like the way how western parents bring up their child,eg, ("no beating, talking things out and giving second chances.")
well thats because, using physical punishment isnt always very effective. all children react differently to punishments, some might think its just a cane and forget about it, while others will bear grudges which might lead to a lot of unhappiness in the family.
its good to reason out with the child about the rights and wrongs, dos and donts. atleast the child learns it without getting angry or bearing any grudge, and he/she is also more likely to remember it.
still, i feel that the "chances" given to the child should be controlled or else he/ she will take it for granted. for exmaple, after his/ her second chance, the child still doesnt listen, a harsher consequence should be imposed, (eg, grounded from doing the things he/ she likes.)
this will be a HUGE "wake up call" for the child to start changing or else there will be other terrible consequences , (eg,"loss of freedom to go out with friends.")
as for the way asians bring up their children,i must say that its rather effective when it comes to dealing with stubborn children. but somehow i feel tt theres a lack of communication between the parent and the child and its basically just punishing and punishing, making sure he/ she dont make the same mistake again. the child will then start to bear grudges and, worst still , some of such children became more rebellious. =/
"saving face" is not EVERYTHNG. whats more important is caring about how the child feels.
your "FACE" is NOTHING compared to your own flesh and blood. can you imagine seeing your son/daughter committing suicide and its all becos of "saving face" , you neglected his/ her feelings? just an act of selfishness can lead you to a lifetime of regret...
it is really no worth it all..
parents should understand their children more..
spend more time with them!
just increase the amount of time you usually spend with them and they'll be very happy.
these children dont exactly want anything else, but the love and care from their parents.
i was once a child too. =)
