Saturday, May 19, 2007
@8:43 AM
i really have not much time to blog eversince school started...
which is also a good thing, cos usually i dont have much to write about, apart from my boring day...lol
=)
moving on....and on...and on...... =)
Sunday, May 13, 2007
@8:38 AM
HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY TO MOMMY!!! ^.^
thanks for indirectly buying the GUESS bag for me to use for school, although dad paid it.
well THANKS DAD! =D
yayy! now i have a NEW bag for school! so happy! ^.^
happy day for me!
cant wait for school....!^.^
Saturday, May 12, 2007
@10:02 PM
when i was younger, i used to hear all kinds of stories that led to divorces and the aftermath of it. however, being young and carefree, i did not think much of it cos i thought that it only happened to unlucky people. divorces were also pretty rare to me cos i didnt have any friend whom i know had parents who were separated ...
as i grew older, i began to make new friends and quite a few of them came from such situations. some of which are still in the midst of separation though..-_-...
then i realized that divorces dont exactly happen to "unlucky" people, moreover it is getting rather common these days.
although these children with separated parents seemed like any other normal kid on the outside, full of smiles and laughters, but deep down inside, they are struggling to recover from the emotional hurt not caused by themselves, but by their self-centered parents.
at the early stages of separation, the child will tend to have mood swings (eg,cry really easily or get irritated very fast.)
they will also keep to themselves cos they feel that since they cant exactly talk to their parents, who are the closest to them, theres no way they can share their problems to other people such as, counsellors.
bottling up all the problems will lead to coping an overpowering amount of stress,i mean how can a child possibly cope with that?! Even an adult cant manage with that much amount of stress.
that explains why it is so common for kids to suffer from depression these days.
however if the child receives proper counselling from professionals, the emotional outcome will not be so terrible.
still, the hurt will remain. just like a scar in the heart which can NEVER fade away.
heres a story of someone i know and how her parents helped her cope with such stress,
when lin* found out about her parent's divorce, she was devastated. she felt as if the world was gonna be over in no time.
she would cry to herself whenever she was alone, and would have frequent nightmares when she slept.
she felt that it was all her fault for her parents' divorce.
she became withdrawn.
fortunately, her parents realized something was amiss,after much thought, they sat her down and explained the situation briefly.
lin cried buckets at first but was glad that her parents told her the truth, so she need not have to feel so bad about herself.
months passed, and lin was better but still not as good. well thats becos, her parents simply have no time for her. they were so busy in earning more money that theyve forgotten all about spending more time with lin. so instead of spending more time, they spent more money..giving her everything she wanted that money could buy.
lin then turned from a sweet and kind girl, to a arrogant and materialistic person who thinks shes superior than others only becos she got whatever she wants and they dont.
although she had all the materials stuff she wanted , she lacked something very important, which was the REAL love from parents, through quality time spent, not money.
in my point of view, i feel that what her parents had done was right to a certain extent. they discussed the whole situation with her in the hope of not making her feel so bad. they also did a right thing in observing lin's behaviour, cos as you all know, not ALL parents give a damn about how their child feels.
however, the grave mistake her parents made was to not spend enough time with her so as to get rid of the "communication barrier" and reach out to her needs.
all they did was simply showering her with material needs, and this indirectly taught her the wrong values. such "actions" taught her that money can buy happiness(can, but not for long), and that in this world, nothing is more important than money. "family", "love" and "care" were simply chucked away by her. this resulted her to be materialistic, thinking that money is everything.
sometimes, i feel that parents, divorced or not divorced, busy or not busy, should still spend TIME with their children..
again, i stress that MONEY and material goods are NOT what the child longs for.to them, its only a secondary option.
whats MOST IMPORTANT is the LOVE and CARE from parents.....
when youths screwed themselves up(eg, getting into trouble with the law.), it is not exactly because they were being silly, foolish or simply stupid on purpose.
it is because such youths dont exactly have proper family upbringing as most of such youths came from broken families, whatever situation it may be.
you all may think that schools teach such values as well, i agree.
but the values taught at schools are just reinforcements on the values taught from home.....by parents.
cos i know that no matter what, children will listen to their parents. (unless their parents are screw ups themselves, then its a diff issue.)
i mean, would you rather listen to your parents whom you trust MOST or, a stranger apart from the fact that he/ she is your teacher.
think about it. =)
*names are changed to protect persons identity.
Friday, May 11, 2007
@7:34 PM
i was suppose to read up on divorces, but i simply didnt have the time!!
as you all know, tomorrow is mothers' day and my mom wants to celebrate early...-_-"
or rather, she wants to celebrate today and tomorrow!
haha..
will write about "divorces" and how it affects a child. =) soon/
@7:19 AM
this entry is not about my day or your day or anybody elses' day, its about KIDS and how to handle them! =)
heres some information about the way asians and westerners deal with their children.
asians : - dont believe in discussion, (etc "no talk means no talk, i say you do it!")
- believe that the "cane" is a miracle tool to make the child well behaved again..LOL!
- dont believe in second chances. (etc, once a child makes a mistake, whether is it a terrible one or not, he or she is likely to get whacked... )
-"saving face" is very important..so parents tend to make sure their kids are "perfect" so as not to be disgraced by them.
however, westerners think likewise.
westerners : - do not believe in physical punishment. ( its known as child abuse in the country. =/)
- always believe that talking it out with the child is the best solution.
- there are always second chances. these kids are less likely to be punished compared to asians although both made the same mistake.
personally, i like the way how western parents bring up their child,eg, ("no beating, talking things out and giving second chances.")
well thats because, using physical punishment isnt always very effective. all children react differently to punishments, some might think its just a cane and forget about it, while others will bear grudges which might lead to a lot of unhappiness in the family.
its good to reason out with the child about the rights and wrongs, dos and donts. atleast the child learns it without getting angry or bearing any grudge, and he/she is also more likely to remember it.
still, i feel that the "chances" given to the child should be controlled or else he/ she will take it for granted. for exmaple, after his/ her second chance, the child still doesnt listen, a harsher consequence should be imposed, (eg, grounded from doing the things he/ she likes.)
this will be a HUGE "wake up call" for the child to start changing or else there will be other terrible consequences , (eg,"loss of freedom to go out with friends.")
as for the way asians bring up their children,i must say that its rather effective when it comes to dealing with stubborn children. but somehow i feel tt theres a lack of communication between the parent and the child and its basically just punishing and punishing, making sure he/ she dont make the same mistake again. the child will then start to bear grudges and, worst still , some of such children became more rebellious. =/
"saving face" is not EVERYTHNG. whats more important is caring about how the child feels.
your "FACE" is NOTHING compared to your own flesh and blood. can you imagine seeing your son/daughter committing suicide and its all becos of "saving face" , you neglected his/ her feelings? just an act of selfishness can lead you to a lifetime of regret...
it is really no worth it all..
parents should understand their children more..
spend more time with them!
just increase the amount of time you usually spend with them and they'll be very happy.
these children dont exactly want anything else, but the love and care from their parents.
i was once a child too. =)
Monday, May 07, 2007
@9:15 PM
whats most important now.
1) god
2)family..i dont wanna regret not spending enough time with them.
3) losing weight until i reach my goal.
4)spend more time with my best friends especially tings. i dont wanna regret not spending enough time with her...
5) my work....
the rest dont matter now...
dont think they ever will...
sometimes we should all just reflect on ourselves..and think about how much we've hurt others and yet some simply refuse to leave us in the lurch..
ive thought about it..and the people who will stand by me in times of trouble are not my friends but, my family.
my parents especially..
i just cant understand why i was so mean.
im gonna make things right now.
im sorry for all that ive done to hurt you.
truly sorry.
i wont make you worry anymore....
yup.
